Jesus commands us to make disciples. That is true of all Christians, in all lines of work, of all giftings, in all cultures throughout all the ages. Even though Jesus sandwiches this command between a promise of his authority and his presence (Matthew 28:18-20), where do we begin? There is an unspoken but underlying step in making disciples that is easily neglected: making a disciple always begins with making a relationship. You cannot disciple someone you do not know. Making a relationship is always the first step.

This command that embraces all of life should also be active when we gather on Sundays. I know we usually think about the Sunday gatherings as a place for Christians, and you may even have one of those “you are now entering the mission field” signs above the exit of the building, but I hope that your church regularly has visitors, and I want to talk about turning those visitors into disciples in four simple steps: initiate, investigate, invest, invite.

Initiate:

We are the missionaries. We are the ones commanded to make disciples. We cannot expect newcomers to come to us; we need to go to them, and that (for most of us) does not happen naturally. We need to follow God’s example. He did not wait for Adam in the garden, nor did He wait for us, but sent His son to reach His wayward creatures. So, what does this look like on Sundays? Intentionally show up in time to park and be there 15 minutes before service starts. Intentionally notice newcomers. Deliberately introduce yourself and welcome them to church. Purposely pursue a relationship. Discipleship begins with an extended hand, an introduction, and a welcome.

Investigate:

We need to investigate because we are interested in making disciples, not just conversions. We should be interested in hearing stories. Ask questions that allow them to talk about who they are, what they think, what they are looking for, etc. A friend likes to say that we need to be a church with big ears: a church of good listeners. If people are lost, crazy, confused, unsure, broken, prideful, or content in their sins, that is great! That is exactly who God wants to work in. Although Jesus is the answer to everyone’s questions, we need to hear the questions first so we can show how Jesus is the answer. Making disciples is not some mechanical, cookie-cutter methodology. We make disciples, starting with who people are and where they are at. That means getting to know them.

Invest:

Find a way to sacrificially move the relationship forward. Invite them over for dinner or out to coffee. Commit to seeing their punk-metal fusion band. Volunteer to go with them to visit their friend at the hospital. All these things quite simply are summed up in one word: Love. We need to love people just as Jesus did by spending time with them. That is where the opportunities to speak into their lives come from, and it is also what makes those speaking times valuable and valid to the hearers. It may be cliché, but it is true, “They don’t care what you know until they know that you care.” [Note: This is the step that is most often skipped, jumping right from the initial conversation to the invitation, but it is vital, and Christlike (Luke 19:5).] One of my favorite memories from pastoral ministry in Seattle is when we met a first-time visitor at our church who was part of a community theater. She had mentioned having a show on Wednesday, and a bunch of the church members decided to go together. More than half the audience was people she just met at church. That was touching not just to her but to her whole theater troupe. This simple act of love became an open door.

Invite:

Discipleship begins when we ask those we are in a relationship with to “follow me as I follow Christ.” Whether we invite them into a discipleship community like a homegroup or a one-on-one Bible study, discipleship requires intentional rhythms with the goal of growing in Christ. Please remember these are not just places or maneuvers for believers; faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God (Rom 10:17). Inviting them to join you in your growth is only one possibility. You can also come alongside them in their growth. What do they want to understand? Where do they have questions or doubts? The goal is to move the relationship from casual friendship to purposeful discipleship.

To fulfill the great commission, we have to move the people we encounter from strangers to friends, and then from friends to disciples. We can do this with those we meet on Sundays through the four “I’s”: Initiate, Investigate, Invest, and Invite. When this becomes not just a personal mission but a church culture, you will be amazed to find yourselves in a season like the book of Acts where “the word of God spread, and the number of disciples multiplied” (Acts 6:7).

“So I will praise You on the mountain / And I will praise You when the mountain’s in my way
You’re the summit where my feet are / So I will praise You in the valleys all the same …”

This past summer I had the privilege of leading a team of students to Ireland to partner with Calvary Cork in putting on a Vacation Bible School. During the dusk hours of evening, one of the leaders happened to hear some singing in the back of the house we were staying at. Upon investigation, the words from the worship song “Highlands” could be heard ringing out over Irish fields in the cool night air. No instruments, no band, no adults, just a group of our teenagers singing in heartfelt worship. None of the adults on the trip had initiated this worship session and none of the students had announced it. It was not planned at all. It was just a spontaneous act of worship by a group of young people from this current generation.

A lot has been said and written about the youth of this generation. Some of it good, some of it bad; some of it justified, some of it not. What often gets overlooked though is the work God is doing amongst them. Where I live in California, in the past few months alone, there have been multiple collaborative worship nights for area youth where hundreds of students turn out to publicly praise Jesus. I realize this might be more the exception than the rule, but either way I think it speaks to something bigger. It is my conviction that God has not forsaken His redemptive work in our youth. Gen Z is no different from every generation before us in that God will always maintain a remnant that seeks after Him. And as history has proven repeatedly, the more the enemy resists Christians, the more the testimony of Christ goes forth. The more this generation is offered empty and vapid solutions to the identity crisis they face, the more the solid truth of Christ stands out as something tangible they can hold on to.

My trip to Ireland initiated several conversations about what it means to minister to this current generation. It reaffirmed the conviction that God has reserved for Himself a countless multitude of youth who have not bowed the knee to the gods of this world. Recently I was asked to share any advice I might have regarding ministering to youth. I in no way consider myself an expert in the field or a scholar of the varying approaches to youth ministry, but what follows are a few honest thoughts on the topic.

Regarding Discipling

I think one of the temptations those ministering to youth face is the temptation of trying to be something they are not. I suppose this temptation exists for anyone in any ministry, but you tend to see it a lot in youth ministry. As a result of wanting to disciple and build friendship and trust with students, adults can tend to act like kids in an effort to relate to them. But in a social media driven world where everyone pretends to be something they are not, people crave authenticity. Those who are simply authentic tend to garner respect. Being relatable does not mean we pretend to be like the person we are ministering to; it means we love them where they are at without compromising who we are. In my experience, students respond more positively to someone who allows them to be teenagers, not someone who tries to be a teenager themselves. Childlike and childish are vastly different. Childlike hallows the innocence and wonder of childhood while simultaneously accepting the godly process of maturation. Childish refuses the maturing process. But it is maturity that those who are immature need to have modeled to them. Be young at heart, but do not compromise maturity in the process.

Regarding Teaching

In our technologically stimulated world, it is not uncommon to hear talk about the low attention spans of our current culture, and not just with the youth. But I do not believe that means we change the material. It will always be the Word of God, through the power of His Holy Spirit, that changes lives. It is never the person who is delivering the message (or how entertaining that person is) that has the power to change someone. So, we continue to teach His Word and allow His Spirit to move in people’s lives.

A Couple Tools

One practical tool I have found to be useful is the art of asking questions. If you see the attention of your students fading, ask a question. It engages them and allows them to be a part of the lesson. Literally no matter where you are at in your lesson, you can always stop to ask questions like, “How is this applicable to us?” or “What do you think this verse means?”

Another practical tool I have found to be useful is storytelling. This might seem like an easy and obvious one, but it does take some forethought. Ideally stories relate to the section of Scripture you are teaching. I have too often found myself telling stories that might be entertaining but do not have a tie-in. Ultimately you want something that will connect listeners to the passage you are studying.

Final Thoughts

We often overthink it. At least I know I do. When I think about my own life, the people who have impacted my faith journey the most are those who were simply there for me when I needed someone to talk to. Many of them impacted my faith not by words they said but by how they lived their lives. Anyone willing to take the time to show up for our youth and willing to honor the Lord in how they live their life, will find themselves having an impact far greater than they realize.

To read more from Daniel visit www.danielhamlin.org

Calvary Nexus just hosted a luncheon called a Connection Gathering attended by 89 leaders from Calvary Chapel and other like-minded evangelical churches from Los Angeles, Ventura, and Santa Barbara Counties. The purposes were bridge building and learning how to better create a disciple-making culture. I would like to share the nature of the event as a potential model to others and to offer hope for a better way regarding both purposes.

Bridge Building

We invited the Calvary Chapels and other evangelical churches to bring their ministry leaders (Kids, Students/Next Gen, Administration, Small Groups, Care, Women’s Ministry, Executive Pastors, Worship, Tech, Lead/Sr. Pastors). The idea was to connect these leaders from different churches with others who do the same ministry. This would connect them as well as develop better-connected leaders who can share ideas, resources, best practices, and potential pitfalls. During dessert, we invited people to move to another table since many of our team members wear multiple hats. Thus, in one sense, bridges were built between these ministry leaders who share a calling, but in different local contexts.

Yet, in another very refreshing sense, there was beautiful bridge building that was perhaps more subtle. We had a panel Q+A featuring pastors David Guzik, Lance Ralston, Tommy Schneider, and myself. Lance and Tommy are the CCA reps for Ventura and Santa Barbara Counties, respectively. I have the privilege of being the CGN representative for Los Angeles and Ventura Counties. Here, a bridge was being built to connect two forks in the Calvary Chapel stream. Here, a large group of evangelical leaders, from various local churches in three counties, came together to encourage, support, and learn from one another because there is no good reason, nor any biblical basis, not to.

Creating a Disciple-Making Culture

Pastor David and the panel offered some practical insights on how to create a disciple-making culture.

1. We tend to be better at making converts but are called to make disciples (Matt. 28:18-20):

Disciples are lifetime learners of God’s word, students and followers of Jesus. Unfortunately, a relatively small percentage of people in our local churches are actually making disciples of others. Jesus’ model of mentoring His disciples was relational and intentional. Similarly, our approach to making disciples who make disciples of others should be relational and intentional. Bible learning, small groups, books and podcasts, and mentor/coach relationships are extremely helpful. Be aware of obstacles such as busyness, lack of margin, and inconsistent church attendance.

2. Some practical steps to shift toward in making disciples:

The mentor should be a growing disciple. Like Paul, we are pressing on to be conformed to the image of Christ (Phil. 3:12). The mentor should provide instruction in the Basics of Christian Living. Focus initially on foundational spiritual disciplines. Instruct and be an example: this is how to pray, this is how to learn the word of God, this is how I serve, here is how I share the faith with others, here is how I support the gospel financially. The mentor is modeling in the sense of I do, you watch; I do, you help; you do, I help; you do, I watch; and you do, someone else watches.

Whether the mentoring relationship is one-on-one, or one with a few, the mentor seeks to help the disciple learn how to live as a follower of Jesus in their home, neighborhood, and school as well as where they work and recreate. So, the mentor wants to instruct, be an example, and create a high degree of trust so that questions are encouraged without reproach and meaningful answers are provided with humility and gentleness.

Some potential pitfalls include assuming that people are becoming disciples simply because the Bible is being taught on Sundays. Another is parents tending to abdicate their responsibility to the church to be the primary disciple makers of their children. Equip and train mentors to disciple others to limit unhealthy practices (aka weirdness).

3. How to create a disciple-making culture among your team:

First, talk about it frequently. Do not assume that it is happening. Second, talk with other members of your team about what you are learning. Third, acknowledge those who are making disciples of others well. What you affirm reflects what you value. Fourth, and perhaps most important, pray that you and your team are making disciples who are making disciples.

Some recommended resources and best practices to consider include the following: small groups, especially sermon-based, with trained leaders who have coaches available to them; A School of Discipleship curriculum (https://calvarynexus.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/School-of-Discipleship.pdf); and RightNow Media’s sound, age-appropriate resources for young children, adolescents, and adults. The Bible Project and Enduring Word provide abundant biblical resources to help create disciples who love God supremely, love neighbors as self, and can make other disciples who do likewise.

Bridges Crossed

Leaders developed relationships with other evangelical leaders who share their calling. For example, Children’s Ministry leaders with varying levels of experience became friends. They exchanged contact information. They talked about curriculum, ideas for recruiting volunteers, and ways to train volunteers. They discussed best practices and potential pitfalls related to equipping and encouraging parents to be the primary disciple-makers of their children.

Similarly, every area (Kids, Students/Next Gen, Administration, Small Groups, Care, Women’s Ministry, Executive Pastors, Worship, Tech, Lead/Sr. Pastors) shared an identical experience of being encouraged, cared for, equipped, and empowered as they were connected to others in the Calvary Chapel family and other like-minded evangelical leaders.

The Calvary Chapel family is best and healthiest when we are together rather than divided without biblical cause. We are best when we are building bridges and actually crossing them, rather than blowing up bridges and building walls. The Calvary Chapel family is best when we, in humility, recognize that we do not have a monopoly on evangelical wisdom, insight, and effectiveness; and we can learn from other like-minded evangelicals.

At the end of the day, literally and figuratively, every single person in attendance declared their gratitude for the gathering, how blessed they were to participate, how excited they are for the next occasion, and how good and pleasant it is for the family to dwell together in unity.

Editor’s Note: This is a repost of an article originally published here on February 27, 2019.

One question I am sometimes asked is how a person can know what their “calling” in life is. Some of the Protestant Reformers had a particular view on this topic which is helpful for us in how we think about “calling” in our lives.

The words “occupation,” “job,” and “vocation” are used more or less interchangeably by people today.

“Vocational training,” for example, refers to training specific to a particular line of work. However, for the Reformers, the word “vocation” had a distinct meaning.

The word vocation comes from the Latin word vocare, literally: “calling.”

For the Reformers, to speak of work as vocation reflected their view that “secular” work is actually a calling from God to do his work in the world and to love your neighbor by serving them in practical ways.

This was in contrast to the view which was held by the medieval Roman Catholic Church, which made a strong distinction between sacred and secular realms of life, the sacred realm being reserved for things directly related to religious or church work, and the secular realm being that of all non-church-related activity. This view, however, is still very common — and the language of “secular” vs “sacred” is still very prominent. Think about all the times you have heard people talk about “secular music” as opposed to “Christian music,” or have heard people talk about “secular jobs” as opposed to “ministry.”

To this, Luther wrote:

“What seem to be secular works are actually the praise of God and represent an obedience which is well-pleasing to him.’ Housework may have ‘no obvious appearance of holiness, yet those household chores are to be more valued than all the works of monks and nuns.’” (From Luther’s commentary on Genesis)

To the person struggling to find their calling, Luther might have responded, “Are you a husband or a wife? Are you a mother or a father, a child or an employee?” (See Colossians 3:17-24)

The Reformers would have pushed back against the concept of “finding your calling.” Your calling, they would have said, is not something mysterious or difficult to discern. It is the current circumstances of your life. If you are a mother, then your calling is to be a mother. If you are an office worker, then it is to be an office worker. There is a freedom to change what you do, but whatever you do, you are to view it as a calling from God to serve Him by serving your neighbor in that context. This is not to diminish the fact that God does call some people into “vocational ministry,” but rather to elevate the value of work done outside the church realm as genuine callings, which can be done as ministry: being God’s instrument to accomplish His work in the world.

Martin Luther used this example:

“Jesus instructed his disciples to pray: ‘Give us this day our daily bread.’ Consider how many people and jobs are involved in God answering that one prayer: there’s a farmer who plants and waters and harvests grain. There’s a miller, who grinds the grain into flour. There’s someone who produces oil. There’s someone who transports the materials. There’s a baker. There’s a grocer who sells the bread. All of these people, as they do their jobs, are contributing to the answering of this prayer: ‘Give us this day our daily bread.’”

He went on to point out that Psalm 147 says that God is the one who strengthens and protects a city, and yet this work is done through lawmakers and first responders.

What transforms a job into a calling is faith.

By faith, we see our daily activities as tasks given to us by God to be done for His glory and for the benefit of others.

By these criteria, we can also determine which jobs are not worth doing. If you do not believe that what you are doing is honoring God or contributing to the flourishing of other people, or if the way you make your money is actually detrimental to others, then the right thing to do might be to find another job.

This principle should not be taken to mean that you must not leave your job if, for example, the working climate or culture is unhealthy, or if you would simply like to pursue another career. It simply means that you ought to view whatever you do as a way to glorify God and do His work in the world by serving others.

After writing to Titus — his former travel and ministry partner (Galatians 2.1-3) — about his current task in the church, Paul begins to instruct his young charge on the conduct and character he is to insist upon in Crete (a place notorious for slack standards). Paul gets more specific on his command to Titus to teach what accords with sound doctrine (2.1) when he speaks specifically about the men under Titus’ charge:

“Older men are to be temperate, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in endurance.”
Titus 2.2

Titus was most likely younger than these older men, and it takes a great deal of humility, dignity and self-control to be pastored and led by someone younger in years than you. The fact that Paul needs to tell Titus how the older men ought to behave shows us that this kind of behaviour does not always come naturally with age. Neither is this gender specific:

“Older women likewise are to exhibit behaviour fitting for those who are holy, not slandering, not slaves to excessive drinking, but teaching what is good.”
Titus 2.3

There is often a misconception that once an older person stops work, they to move on to the next stage of their life and either become immersed in hobbies or just simply live out their days quietly and without much fuss. But, here, Titus is told to teach the Cretans the exact opposite: no, your older men and older women are to be examples in character and conduct. Do not let them slide off into the sunset and excuse any of their “personality quirks.” They must enter this phase of their lives and not “let go”. Rather, they ought to be the living embodiment of those who have years of experience to share, dispensers of tales about trials that have been overcome, and fonts of wise words that come from walking with the Lord for so long.

Being temperate, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in endurance are all great qualities that we want the older men in our lives to be displaying. Likewise for the older women and their list of aspirational attributes. But, why? Why is this so important? Let us keep reading:

“In this way they will train the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, fulfilling their duties at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the message of God may not be discredited.”
Titus 2.4-5

Why do we need people we can look to and mimic? God through Paul says that it is so that the message of God may not be discredited. Our witness to the world is so important that we are urged to have those in our lives who have been there, seen it, and done it to make sure we are not tarnishing it.

There are a few things that come from this passage, then. Perhaps it is the exhortation to have a multi-generational church family that genuinely interacts with one another on a personal level (we cannot learn from a generation that are not present, nor influence those not there). Maybe it is that both men and women have an equally important yet complementary role in discipleship. There are individual implications and there are church-wide connotations, but, more than that, mentorship (and the character it develops) is needed so that the message of God may not be discredited.

Without mentorship from those further along life’s path, we are making it up as we go along, hoping not to mess up the message of God to others by our conduct. Friends, we need not live like this. God wants more for you than to make it up as you go along.

If you are new to the faith, find someone who has been sound in [their] faith for longer than you and talk to them. Imitate them as they imitate Christ. Soak up every ounce of accumulated wisdom and every single lived experience of Jesus that they are willing to share. And, by the same token, if you are in your 40s, 50s, 60s, or even older, look around and see who you can come alongside and mentor. Actively find those in your church to whom you can exhibit behaviour fitting for those who are holy, see those around you to whom you can pass on some of your decades of experience. Help them to live a life worthy of the the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

May we all see and show, with words and ways, what it means to live a life in which the message of God may not be discredited.

Editor’s Note: This is the third article of a three-part series on how to develop disciples who will, in turn, make disciples of others. Click here to read the first article and here to read the second article. Bruce Zachary will provide an overview of this process during the workshop on Intentional Relational Leadership at the CGN International Conference June 23-26 in Costa Mesa, California. In addition, you can read Bruce’s free ebook on “Intentional Relational Leadership” ahead of time by clicking the link here.

“And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful people who will be able to teach others also” (2 Tim. 2:2).

There are some disciple-making principles that are effective and replicable regardless of culture. The essence of developing disciples who will disciple others requires each of us to engage, equip, empower, and evaluate. In an earlier article, we considered how to engage and equip, now let us learn how to empower and evaluate.

A. Empower:

Here, a more experienced leader is contemplating how to strengthen a developing leader to take steps of faith to grow as a leader who will develop other leaders.

1. Clearly communicate the mission (responsibility). When Jesus sent out the twelve for the first time, He clearly communicated their mission to proclaim the kingdom, heal the sick, cleanse lepers, raise the dead, and cast out demons. There was a clear understanding of their responsibility. Jesus gave instruction and guidance about how to do what He called them to do, and warnings about some of the challenges they would encounter (Matt. 10). Thus, we discover some general principles:

a. Help people discover what God has called them to do.
b. Help them to appreciate their responsibility to God.
c. Provide some guidance and instruction re how to do.
d. Advise about some known challenges.

2. Confirm authority. When Jesus sent out the twelve, He conferred power and authority to do what He called them to do (Matt. 10:1). Responsibility without authority is a hindrance and obstacle to developing leaders. Experienced leaders encourage developing leaders to discover experiential knowledge of the theological truth that whatever God commands, He empowers.

Creating leadership cultures where people move from micro- to macro-management as quickly as reasonable involves conferring authority commensurate with responsibility, and track record. Development will require releasing authority beyond proven ability, but with an awareness of projected capacity (present and future).

For example, imagine I have 100 eggs that I want to get to the farmers’ market on a particular day, and specific time, and most important, without cracking. You offer to deliver the eggs. If you and I have never worked together, I am very unlikely to trust you with all 100 eggs. On the other hand, if you have some good references confirming your work, I am likely to trust you with more eggs, yet perhaps not all 100. If we begin our relationship without a reference, and I put some eggs in your basket and you get the job done on time, without breaking the eggs, I am likely to put more eggs in your basket. Through our interactions, I am trying to assess: Are you a 25, 50, 75, or 100 egg person? If I have concluded, relatively early, that you have 100 egg capacity, then I want to empower you to move from 10 towards 100 level responsibility and authority as quickly as reasonable.

As an aside, when Jesus sent out the twelve, He gave authority to proclaim the kingdom, heal the sick, cure diseases, and exercise authority over demons (Lu. 9:1-2). That is some significant authority for a group that was not fully proven. Matthew’s account notes authority conferred to cleanse lepers and raise the dead (Matt.10:8-9, emphasis mine).

3. Encourage. The people that you are helping to develop are likely to struggle with their insecurities, feelings of inadequacy, fears, and doubts. Sincere words of affirmation are life-giving and empowering to developing leaders.

The Father affirms the Son as “well-pleasing” at the beginning of His earthly ministry and as He transitioned towards Jerusalem and the cross (Matt. 3:17, 17:5). These significant rite of passage moments were showered in affirmation, approval, and acceptance.

Similarly, when Jesus gave His “commencement address” in the Upper Room, He assured His disciples that they would do greater works than He (Jn. 14:12). This was not hyperbolic fluff to make them feel good about themselves, but prophetic. Presumably, at the time these words were declared, their significance could not be apprehended, but undoubtedly those words encouraged, affirmed, and helped empower them for the work their Master had ordained.

B. Evaluate:

1. What progress has been made? It is necessary to evaluate progress to ensure accountability; however, progress is not perfection. In a healthy discipling relationship there are agreed upon reasonable expectations. The expectations are not etched in granite and can be adjusted. Nevertheless, they are not to be ignored.

Luke records Jesus sending out the seventy, and them rejoicing when they returned and reported the results. Yet, in the midst of a very successful performance of the tasks, Jesus reminded them of spiritual truths that were more important than their performance of the tasks (Lu. 10:1-12, 17-20). So, as you evaluate tasks, do not neglect spiritual growth.

Action Items that are to be performed between meetings provide a means to measure progress. Whether there is one task that was 75% completed, or three of four tasks that were accomplished, there is meaningful progress. On the other hand, a neglect of tasks, or failure to perform Action Items, without a reasonable justification may reveal issues. For example, the tasks may be too complex or too burdensome for the disciple during this season of their life; or the disciple did not manage their time as well as they hoped, or did not appreciate the amount of work required. Similarly, repeated neglect, or failure to make meaningful progress, may reveal a lack of motivation or passion to develop as a leader. There may come a time when a repeated lack of effort, and lack of progress justifies withdrawing from the process, but there should be ample opportunity given to demonstrate progress.

Frequently, there is a reasonable justification for hindered progress. Life is complex, and the leaders that you are developing are navigating their expanding responsibilities as growing kingdom leaders in addition to all of the other competing claims to their time, attention, and affections. Seek to be sensitive and compassionate as you discover and evaluate.

As an experienced leader, especially those who are more task-oriented and adroit at accomplishing tasks, there is likely to be a greater focus on tasks and development of proficiency as opposed to cultivating relationship between the disciple and mentor. Celebrate progress, encourage development, and continue to create accountability without abandoning the process.

2. Where is continued development a priority? During the process of development, targeted areas of growth will shift. The disciple may have gained proficiency in certain areas and no longer need to focus upon those areas. Similarly, their ministry context may have changed, and new contexts create new priorities to target for development. Evaluating progress, needs, and contexts will help to determine priorities for development. Thus, assessment should influence where energies and efforts are allocated moving forward.

3. Desired new destinations? As you evaluate, you may discover that at the end of the proposed term (e.g., one year) that you actually arrived at the desired destination. As an aside and a reminder, it generally takes longer than expected. So, when you arrive at the proverbial mountaintop, consider if there is another summit that the disciple wants to scale with your assistance.

Upcoming Workshop on Intentional Relational Leadership

So, as we contemplate a disciple-making process, we need to better understand how to effectively engage, equip, empower, and evaluate like Jesus did with His disciples. If you want to learn how to make disciples more effectively, please join me for a workshop at the Calvary Global Network (CGN) International Conference, and we can discover together the personal and kingdom benefits of intentional relational leadership.

It was time to make lunch, and a happy two-year-old stood on the stool beside me at the kitchen counter, gibbering away.
“What’s this?” he asks, holding up a light brown orb.
“Onion,” I reply.
“Onyi,” he mimics the sounds as best as his little tongue allows.
“Yes,” I chuckle.
“Onyi, onyi, onyi…” he sings as if to himself, completely wrapped up in his own world now. It’s just him and his revelation: the onion.

Thankfully, he surrenders his precious “onyi” and we chop it up, along with the veggies. His butter knife cubes the air as mine cubes the pork. We then measure out the flour, his favorite part of any recipe because he can do it all by himself. I turn my attention to the pan on the stove so I don’t burn lunch, leaving him to his game of flour transportation via spoon.

I mix all the ingredients together in the pan, turn the burner down, and give them another good mix before checking on my Sous Chef to make sure the butter knife has not been replaced by the real one. It hasn’t. Good. It’s still lying there on the cutting board where I left it, and my son’s butter knife is close by. Next to his knife, my eyes follow a trail of white leading to a fluffy, white pyramid, and in front of it, as serious as could be, stands a little human, wet flour thickly caked onto his shirt and face. He’s drinking dry flour from a cup with a metal mixing bowl atop his head. Noticing my gaze, he turns his head and beams, “Look, Mama, I made lunch.” It’s a meal fit for a king as far as he’s concerned.

It was at that moment that the Voice spoke to me. The gentle, quiet voice that reaches into my very soul pushing past all the distractions and pretenses, dividing bone and marrow, light from dark. “Just so you know,” it began, “that’s what you look like serving Me. Your ”help“ is neither efficient nor necessary. It actually creates more work for Me, but I love that you are next to Me, involved in what I’m doing. I love that you want to help Me. I even love the bowl on your head and your messy shirt. Yes, I see them. I delight in working side by side, but you’re not doing great things for Me that I couldn’t do for Myself. I want you, but I don’t need you.”

He Doesn’t Need Me

I want God to need me, to be unable to function without my energy, ideas, and service. I want my prayers to direct and empower Him to fulfill His will. Of course, I know that none of these things are biblical, but when push comes to shove, I want to be important. I long to be indispensable. My soul screams a yearning to be the one that God can’t live without. But His all-sufficient, speak-the-world-into-creation self does not need the messy, floury, mixing bowl-crowned me. That truth petrifies me. If I’m not useful, will God abandon me? If I’m not the best at everything, will He move on to someone better? My mind knows the answers to these questions, but my heart shudders at the possibility. How will He react when I let Him down? I better hide this bowl. Oh my gosh, look at my shirt. What a mess. I’m such a child. Is He looking at me? I can feel that He is. He’s disappointed, I know it. He’s mad at me for spilling. I can’t take it. I gotta get out of here, away from Him.

I run away because at the bottom of my need to be needed is insecurity. What if I’m not enough? The lie, lurking in the shadows, is that God not needing me is the same thing as Him being indifferent toward me. There’s nothing indifferent about God. He’s self-sufficient, but that’s not the same, and it doesn’t diminish His love for me. In fact, it’s this very character quality that ensures that His love for me is poured out in its purest form. He doesn’t need a thing from me, so His love is free of greed and manipulation. His love is an extension of who He is, not a maneuver to get what He wants. Everything is His already. He doesn’t need me.

God chooses the menu, and He’ll make sure that lunch doesn’t burn. But I feel ridiculous standing here with a bowl on my head. Yet the truth is I’m a child, and I sometimes do childish things. He knows that and sees that. I don’t need to pretend otherwise by hiding the bowl. It’ll inevitably find its way back to its perch anyway. This isn’t to say that it’s a fashion statement and something I flaunt. Call it what it is: childishness. I have it, and God knows and loves me the same. And that’s that. It’s not the centerpiece of my service, nor does it disqualify it. The same goes for my messy shirt and my pathetic ‘“lunch.”

This puts me in my place, but that place isn’t that of a guilty cowering dog. God’s Voice was direct and truthful, but it didn’t make me want to run. His words were a rebuke. But instead of feeling shamed, I felt liberated.
Because…

He Wants Me

Even though He doesn’t need me, He wants to be in the same room as me. I often don’t want to be in the same room with me. I spend so much time frustrated with who I’m not, that I forget that my Heavenly Father delights in what I am right now. I’m so wrapped up in trying to pour the flour perfectly, impossible with my shaky hands, that I forget that He didn’t invite me to cook with Him because of my skill. He invited me because He delights in me. His everlasting love beckoned me. He didn’t hire me, scouring hundreds of applications for the best qualified person to accomplish His plan. He adopted me and offers me a home, not an office.

I’m not one screwup away from getting the pink slip. I don’t need to dress to impress nor must I climb the ladder to be noticed. I’m completely accepted as I am. Not who I want to be, but who I am in this very moment with all of my wonderful God-infused qualities and all the wet flour stuck to my shirt and face. I like to pretend, though, that I didn’t make a mess, like I can’t see the flour all over every surface of the counter and myself. I want lunch to be all prepared and perfect and the mess all cleaned before I invite God into the room. And so I try, try, and try harder to impress Him, forgetting that He’s standing next to me the whole time. More than that, He was in the room before I was. He’s the One who invited me in. But I forget about that in my pursuit to earn His favor. And after my best efforts, all I have to show for it is a cup of flour. No amount of effort changes who I am and what I can accomplish, but my deep insecurity will not accept that because what if my bowl-hat is too ridiculous and He’s embarrassed by me? What if a cup of flour isn’t enough to ensure His love for me?

The fact that He smiles down at me and laughs a good long grandpa laugh when I present my main course to Him makes my heart soar. He really isn’t here for the food. He’s here for me. This doesn’t make me the center of the universe. Oh no, reality with Him is so much better than that. It makes me the helper, invited into the creative process with the Center of the Galaxy. I’m working shoulder to shoulder with the Energizer, Sustainer, and Protector of all things that were, are, and are to come.

Yielding to His rightful position removes my insecurities and quiets my soul. It also frees me to be who I am. I no longer have to pretend to be God. I am once again a child standing next to Him on my stool ready to engage with wonder and anticipation in what I see. I don’t need to know what that brown ball is. I can ask. I don’t need to cube the pork yet; God’s got it. I can keep practicing on the air. I can pour the flour all by myself, and it doesn’t matter if I spill a little because it’s not about that tiny task. It’s about the experience of being in the kitchen together. That’s what’ll change my heart.

Isn’t that what it’s all about? Serving God, I mean. It’s not about doing extraordinary things. It’s about loving God and loving others. Our preeminent task is to love, not to serve. Genuine love ignites the heart to service. If you truly love someone, you’ll serve them. But the service is secondary to the love. Putting service first will slowly pull the heart into pride by thinking that it’s the best servant around—or into insecurity, thinking it has to maintain a certain level of service in order to earn love. Both are equally lethal to the spiritual life, and they both hold me in the center, which means that I’m living in a false reality. To get back to how things really are, how they were created to be, I first need to get back to the relationship.

A deep, dynamic relationship with God will bring about service and that of an extraordinary kind. The Apostle Paul calls these stunning elements of service the fruits of the Spirit. Serving isn’t doing nice things for others because it’s the right thing to do. It’s loving others as God loves us. He gave Himself for us. That’s what His love looks like, and that’s what I’m called to do. An impossible task on my own, but thanks be to God, I’m not on my own. I’m in close proximity and loved by God, and that’s changing me and changing the way that I serve. It kills the pride and vanquishes the insecurity. Then out pours peace, self-control, patience, kindness, love, goodness, gentleness, joy, and faithfulness. All essential qualities of a servant. It puts me in my place: that of a beloved child and a cherished servant.

The Triune God of the Universe invited me to stand next to Him, and He has invited you as well. Let’s forget about being “useful” for just a moment and close our eyes and imagine that we’re free from that burden—that burden to produce and preform in order to maintain our position of favor. Let’s forget about our silly notion that we’re the greatest servant ever. Let’s listen to the Voice: “I don’t need you; I want you.”

Editor’s Note: This is the second article of a three-part series on how to develop disciples who will, in turn, make disciples of others. Click here to read the first article, published on March 22, 2024. In addition, Bruce Zachary will provide an overview of this process during the workshop on Intentional Relational Leadership at the CGN International Conference June 23-26 in Costa Mesa, California. You can read Bruce’s free ebook for “Intentional Relational Leadership” by clicking the link here.

“And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful people who will be able to teach others also” (2 Tim. 2:2).

There are some disciple-making principles that are effective and replicable regardless of culture and the relative spiritual maturity of the persons involved. The essence of developing disciples who will disciple others requires each of us to engage, equip, empower, and evaluate. Let us begin to consider the elements of engage and equip.

A. Engage:

Generally, when you begin to develop disciples, you will engage them. As you continue to develop disciples, you may discover that you are being engaged by others to share your wisdom, insights, experience, and expertise. Nevertheless, the considerations related to engagement are consistent regardless of who initiates the relationship.

Here is an overview of considerations that you will likely address in the engagement phase:

1. Create a group to develop: Focus on developing the disciples who are most likely to create kingdom influence. Generally, meet one-on-one, or one-on-few, because their goals will differ.

2. Clarify goals and desired outcomes: Identify no more than four desired outcomes (targeted goals) that are likely to create the greatest impact.

3. The frequency, length, and duration of meetings: Will you meet weekly, twice a month, or monthly? A helpful rule-of-thumb is 90 minutes every two weeks. In regard to duration, plan to meet for at least 6 months. You want to focus on developing proficiency for meaningful and significant desired outcomes and these take time. For example, if you are mentoring someone to be proficient (e.g., 7 or better on a scale of 1-10) in Bible learning, Bible teaching, prayer, administration, delegation, communication, etc.) and you only meet twice a month for 90 minutes, it will take at least six months. So, plan accordingly.

4. The use of Action Items: At the conclusion of every meeting, agree upon work that the disciple will perform between meetings. These may include reading, listening to a podcast, online research, or other exercises. The Action Items should be targeted towards the disciple’s desired outcomes and be deemed reasonable to the disciple and mentor. For example, if the disciple has 3 hours to devote to gaining proficiency between meetings, then the Action Items should be presumed to require 2.5 hours. This leaves some margin for the unexpected. These should be agreed upon at the conclusion of each meeting and discussed near the start of each subsequent meeting. Evaluate progress made, and whether the workload was too heavy, light, or just right for the disciple.

5. Cultivate a relationship and make progress related to tasks: The desired outcome is cultivating a relationship between mentor and disciple and developing proficiency for a targeted task. Relationship forging takes time and is unlikely to flow according to schedule. You can plan to devote 15 minutes to forging relationship, but if the disciple (or mentor) is struggling with life, the boundaries are going to shift. Make sure that you are making progress related to task, but do not forsake relationship in the quest to reach a desired destination as quickly as possible.

B. Equip:

It is critical to remember that a mentor-disciple relationship is intended to equip a developing leader to be more proficient. You want to prepare them to ultimately reach a desired destination. This might be accomplished through providing helpful resources and tools, and imparting perspectives. Here are some considerations:

1. Character is foundational. Be sure to model Christlike character (1 Cor. 11:1; 1 Tim. 3). Be an example of character worth following. As you work with developing leaders, there will undoubtedly be multiple occasions where a character issue arises. Do not neglect to address character issues simply because you are focused on developing task proficiency. Christlike character will always be the foundation for healthy, effective ministry. So, when issues arise, speak the truth in love to ensure Christ-honoring development (Eph. 4:15).

2. Communicate care, compassion, and commitment to the developing leader. The most effective mentors understand that the relational component of development is likely more significant than training for task proficiency. If character is the foundation for developing a leader, then empathy is the next layer in the proverbial pyramid. Mentors who effectively communicate care, compassion, and commitment to help develop disciples are modeling likely the most important characteristic for healthy long-term leaders. If you model this well, your relationship with the disciple will continue past the planned time of engagement, and they will likely reproduce healthy disciples and leaders.

3. Determine strengths. Help developing leaders determine their strengths or God-given gifting (Rom. 12:6). Where does this leader get “A” results without extraordinary efforts? What gifting or abilities do those who work regularly and closely with the leader recognize? What are they passionate about? What are they highly motivated to do? How does/can this disciple leverage their strengths to get to the desired destination? Focus on developing strengths and areas approaching proficiency rather than trying to improve areas of weakness.

4. Help disciples to create roadmaps. Avoid the temptation to tell them every step of the map, and instead help them to map out a course that they believe will get them to the desired destination. Asking questions and cultivating self-discovery will generally be better in the long run.

5. Model task proficiency when mentoring. When mentoring you are likely to be modeling as a means to equip. An effective model to equip can be described as follows:

I do, you watch.
I do, you help.
You do, I help.
You do, I watch.
You do, someone else watches.

This is a model that Jesus utilized with the disciples. The end result is that the disciple will often replicate their mentor’s approach. For example, we see Peter being used to restore life to Tabitha (Ac. 9:36-41) and adopting a methodology that he had seen demonstrated by Jesus related to the restoration of Jairus’ daughter (Mark 5:21-24, 35-43). When mentoring for task proficiency, help people to see what you do, and help them to learn why you do it.

So, as we contemplate a disciple-making process we need to better understand how to effectively engage and equip. In the next article, we will explore how to empower and evaluate like Jesus with His disciples. If you want to learn how to make disciples more effectively, please join me for a workshop at the Calvary Global Network (CGN) International Conference and we can discover together the personal and kingdom benefits of intentional relational leadership.

Editor’s Note: This is the third article in the Power and Role of Just One Color series. Click here to read the first article, published on February 6, 2024 and here to read the second article, published on March 5, 2024.

Hopefully, this series has you thinking about the amazing diversity of spiritual gifts and is making the case that they’re each an essential part of a healthy church. So they’re important, but how do we make these concepts come to life in our churches?

Just as the Apostle Paul wove theology and practice into each of his epistles, so should we try to weave theological truths and the practice of them into our churches’ DNA. Knowing the right answers is useless unless those answers are shaping the way we live. It’s pointless to take a spiritual gifts test, read the results, say, “Huh, that’s interesting,” and then leave it in a folder on our desktop. If our theological discoveries about spiritual gifts aren’t shaping the way we make decisions in our day-to-day, all we’re doing is adding information to our brains. We might be able to give a killer lecture on spiritual gifts, but are our churches places where the practice of them flourishes? In what kind of environment do they flourish? Gifts flourish in environments that are safe. By that, I mean there’s no comparing and belittling. They’re also environments which provide concrete opportunities for people to use their gifts. How do we stimulate this type of environment?

A Sandwich … of Sorts

We make sandwiches! Yup, that’s right, sandwiches. Bear with me …

The day before I wrote this, my five-and-a-half-year-old wanted to make a sandwich all by himself. A first. It was better for both of us if I didn’t watch because, as a recovering perfectionist, I can kill the cycle of learning by intervening at the first mistake in a nanosecond, but I told him to let me know if he needed help. I stayed in the kitchen with him but kept doing my own thing.

He pushed his stool up to the fridge door, opened it, and proceeded to get out the cheese, lunch meat, ketchup, and cucumbers. I wasn’t aware that he knew where they were before this moment. He then asked for his knife, the dull one that he’d already learned to use, and the peeler. With the addition of a cutting board, my suggestion, he stood at the table and cut an incredibly thick slice of cheese and two even thicker slices of ham. The ketchup, already on the bread, was spilling over the sides like lava flowing from an erupting volcano.

“I love ketchup,” he chuckled as he added cheese and ham.

Next came the tricky part: peeling the cucumber.

“Not toward yourself,” I reminded him as I looked over. “You can cut your finger that way.”

“Ok,” he said and thirty seconds later added, “I almost cut myself, but I didn’t. Oh, I forgot … away from myself. I did it like this instead of like this. I love cucumbers! I cut three slices, but only two fit on my sandwich. I’ll put the other one on the side.”

I turned around and saw that he was holding up his sandwich for inspection. It teetered on the plate, the hefty cucumber chunks—I can’t call them slices in good conscience—holding on for dear life. And you know what? It was perfect. I was so proud of him that I took a picture and sent it to my husband and then to my mom.

He sat eating his sandwich, or trying to, as the slip and slide that the excess ketchup created proved difficult for small fingers to grip, all with a big smile on his face. “Now I can make sandwiches whenever I’m hungry. If you’re in the other room working and Dad is on a run, I can just go make one! Uh oh, my ham fell on the floor. I need help.”

I walked over to the coffee table in the living room where he was eating. His hands were covered in ketchup and the ham was splatted on the hardwood floor. I picked it up, rinsed it off, plopped it back on the sandwich, and he ran to wash his hands.

“I put way too much ketchup,” he said from the bathroom.

When his dad got home later that day, even before his shoes were off his feet, my son said, “Dad, I made a sandwich all by myself.”

It was THE news for the day.

I wasn’t sure he could do it, but he did do it. If I hadn’t let him try it, though, I still wouldn’t know that he could do it. It was the beginning of him gaining a new skill and of me handing over control and perfection—great things for both him and me.

Embrace the Process

I’m not suggesting that sandwich making is a spiritual gift, but as I discover the gifts that the Lord has given me, and clumsily begin to try to use them, I often feel like I’m making a very ugly sandwich. I almost cut myself, everything is sliced into the wrong shape ,and the result is barely consumable. But, just as I didn’t expect my son’s first sandwich to be perfect and was just excited he was trying, the Lord also prioritizes effort over results. He knows that if I’m not willing or given the chance to make my first ugly sandwich, I’ll never learn to make one at all.

Once we’ve discovered what our gifts are, or are at least getting an idea of what they are, we start talking with others about said gifts and ones that they have. We’ve come to a new crossroads. Are we going to stay on the path of discussing and pondering or are we going to open the fridge, get out the cheese, and start making a sandwich? Why not do both? Discussing and pondering are both vital, but so is action. If someone in your church has the gift of teaching and is encouraged to use that gift but never given an opportunity to teach, how are they supposed to grow and develop that gift? Through mentorship, a seminar maybe, or talking and learning from other teachers, they could develop and grow their knowledge of teaching. But leaders of the church have the responsibility to encourage believers to “try out” the things they are learning. At some point, there must be room for a teacher to stand up and teach.

My son has watched me make a million sandwiches. He had learned what goes on the sandwich, and in what order, just by watching me. Recall that he even knew where in the kitchen to find each ingredient. Theoretically, he could make a perfect sandwich, but practically there was no muscle memory in his little fingers for it. Practice hardly ever matches theory in a perfect cookie-cutter way, so we need to adjust our expectations as leaders or mentors.

We do this naturally with kids. We give them a spoon when they are old enough to grasp it, and eventually they learn to guide it to their mouth And then slowly, we let them make their own sandwiches. We know it’ll be a process. Sometimes in church though, there’s little of this type of hands-on learning. But we need it. As difficult as it is to admit, I’m often like my kindergartener with no practical experience about a thing, even about a thing like my spiritual gifts.

I grew up in the church. I was there at least twice a week and very involved. And while they did many things well, I was rarely encouraged to explore my gifts in that safe environment that was founded on the Word of God. I needed someone to let me struggle through making a sandwich by myself. The truth is, this kind of learning will be messy. That’s fine. Just like a mom or dad will help a child who’s struggling to learn the art of sandwich making, so should spiritual mothers and fathers. They should be available to redirect the hand, slow it down, and to wipe a face when it gets ketchup all over it. They cheer on and are there when the learner gets frustrated in the learning process, but a wise father and mother will cultivate new skills by hands-on learning. Maybe the first step is a seminar or having a coffee with someone who has the gift you’re interested in exploring. Maybe it’s joining a ministry that already exists in your church or town that will help you try out your gift. Maybe it’s praying with a friend for the Lord to give you courage to start practicing using your gift. The specifics aren’t as important as is the act of stepping out and beginning.

Hands-on learning can be formal or informal. I’ve been a part of very useful seminars that had the time divided into a lecture segment and then a practical application of the lecture. Activities or workshops were planned specifically for the purpose of practicing what we’d just been learning. I’ve also learned by trying things out in our home group, which is a safe environment for me. Slowly, as I’ve tried many different things, I’m getting an idea what my gifts are and where I can invest more time and energy.

This’s not to say that I’m never asked to step out of my comfort zone and do something that I might not necessarily have a strong gifting to do. That’s a topic for another time But in those times where I’m asked to step out, I lean into the giftings of my brothers and sisters. I pull on their strengths. I may know how to make a ham and cheese like nobody’s business, but what if I’m asked to make a Reuben? (I don’t even know what it is. I had to Google it.) Then, I remember a friend of mine makes them all the time, and I pick up the phone. They walk me through each step or maybe offer to come show me how to make it just right. Through the experience, I might discover that I’ve a knack for making Reubens, or I may struggle the whole time and never make one again. Too much sandwich talk?

That point is, when our churches, whether in a formal setting or in our living rooms, encourage this type of hands-on learning, with loving oversight, I believe the giftings of each person will begin to surface. These kinds of environments also make it more difficult for a spirit of comparison to arise. If I recognize my role, like I did with my son in the kitchen, as mother, then I’m not going to laugh at someone’s teetering first sandwich and say, “I can make one so much better. Throw that in the trash; it’s no good. I’ll show you how it’s really done.” No. I know that my son, or whoever I’m in the kitchen with, is learning and so have a completely different approach. I encourage, give guidance when I think it’s necessary, and praise their efforts. I’m observing and praying. Maybe the Lord is using this moment to reveal a new gift that could encourage the entire body of Christ. What’s my role? How can I come along side to see that gift grow and thrive?

Let Them Try

Sometimes, I’m the sandwich maker in the kitchen and then there’s really no room for comparison because I can see what my sandwich looks like. If I’m not alone in the kitchen though, but part of a group of newbies, it’s trickier because my pride and insecurity are crouching at the door. But if I recognize that pride and insecurity are there and nail them to the cross, I can be freed from their power over me. I can be free to develop my new gift and free to allow those around me to develop theirs, without obsessing over who’s progressing the quickest.

Each church has to figure out how to create these sandwich-making opportunities in a way that fits into the size, age, location, and make-up of their congregation. The specifics of what those opportunities will look like are less important than the environment they’re created in. We must create places that encourage hands-on learning and be prepared for the imperfection and mess that naturally comes with that.

Spiritual gifts have an amazing potential to strengthen, encourage, and equip the body of Christ, but trying one out for the first time is intimidating. Let’s create spaces that cultivate learning and be unashamed of the imperfection that comes along the way. If you’re a leader like me, let’s encourage and tutor. Stay in the kitchen, patiently ready to answer questions or to give guidance and maybe have a few wet wipes handy, just in case. If you’re making your first sandwich, go for it! Grab an expert who’s willing to hang out in the kitchen with you and remain open to their wisdom and direction as you roll up your sleeves and start practicing your gifts.

Editor’s Note: This is the first article of a series on how to develop disciples who will, in turn, make disciples of others. In addition, Bruce Zachary will provide an overview of this process during the workshop on Intentional Relational Leadership at the CGN International Conference June 23-26 in Costa Mesa, California.

“And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful people who will be able to teach others also” (2Tim. 2:2).

The Greek philosopher Archimedes is attributed with the principle, “Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world.” The underutilized lever, in this instance, is the influence of accumulated knowledge, wisdom, and experience of followers of Jesus; and the fulcrum is the Church. The transmission of knowledge, wisdom and experience from mature followers of Jesus to less mature followers is the essence of discipleship. Discipleship creates leverage to multiply Jesus’ followers, multiply leaders, and move the world.

The gospel is the hope of the world, and the world needs more effective gospel-centered disciples who engage in making disciples of others. The multiplying influence is not merely exponential, but creates leverage by tapping into “expotential.”

It is reasonable to believe that the essence of our purpose is to fulfill the Great Commandments and Great Commission. If you distill all that Christ instructed and intends for His people to be and do, it would likely sound like this: “Love God supremely, love neighbors as you love yourself, and make disciples (of Me) who do likewise.” This is a life-changing, world-changing, eternity-changing, desired destination. Despite a relatively simple desired outcome, the target appears to be elusive. Simply stated, the problem is that most followers of Jesus, who presumably genuinely love God and neighbors, have neglected to make other disciples who do likewise.

Let me pause your thinking for a moment … You likely read the last sentence in less than ten seconds and had no visceral response.

I recognize that only the Holy Spirit can effect transformed attitudes and actions. Yet, please bear with me as I try to illustrate. I was at a conference a dozen years ago when the speaker referenced the Great Commandments (Matt. 22:37-40), and it was a coming to Jesus moment. I had been a pastor for more than twenty years and was familiar with the commandments of loving God supremely and loving neighbors as self (Deut. 6:5, Lev. 19:8). Still, at that moment, the Holy Spirit was impressing upon me that I did not even know my neighbors (people I live in proximity with), let alone love them, and certainly did not love them as I love myself. I could try to deny that reality, justify myself by my love for others, deflect the conviction, or I could confess and repent (which I did, and it has been life-transforming in the best of ways).

Thus, the failure to make disciples should not be casually neglected like foregoing flossing after meals, proper diet, or exercise. At some point, you, me, and the Church need a coming to Jesus moment since we are rebelling against a fairly significant commandment. We can try to deny, deflect, or justify. We can assert that no one discipled us, or it seems too daunting, or I can’t disciple someone. Or you can confess and repent and experience life transformation in the best of ways.

So, before contemplating how we might go about making disciples more effectively let us consider some of the benefitsyou will experience from making disciples (i.e., the value-added proposition). You will grow as a follower of Jesus. You will be more confident in your identity as Jesus’ disciple. You will experience satisfaction as God’s kingdom is advanced. You will accelerate your appreciation and appropriation of spiritual disciplines. You will develop meaningful relationships with others. You will be affirmed, equipped, and empowered as a disciple and disciple-maker. You will experience Jesus working in you and through you anew.

The need for a better model: Intentional Relational Leadership

Jesus’ method of making disciples is intentional and relational. The intentionality is reflected in the reality that He is forging Christlike character, infusing kingdom values, and transforming thinking about God, people, ritual, authority, etc. And He is preparing them for the tasks of fulfilling the Great Commandments and Great Commission (apprenticeship). The relational aspect is demonstrated through the revelation of seemingly countless hours spent together during three years—and Jesus’ declaration that His disciples are His friends (Jn. 15:12-17).

In contrast, it seems that much of our mentoring efforts focus on either relationship while neglecting intentionality, or training for tasks (intentionality) while neglecting the relationship. Furthermore, the typical paradigm does not encourage the mentor to be discipled by another. Nor does the process generally ensure the disciple can replicate the process by discipling another.

Until relatively recently, I did not know a better way. For example, I would meet with less experienced leaders either in person or via Zoom once a month for about an hour. The meetings were primarily relational. We would chat about personal and ministry matters they were challenged with at that time, and I would offer my best counsel. Although I suspect that all would say that our meetings were helpful, they lacked intentionality in regard to the development of these less experienced leaders. This ad hoc approach imparts insight into particular situations but tends to neglect strategic, intentional development toward targeted goals.

In a series of articles, I intend to describe a process of intentional relational leadership that will explain how to develop disciples who will, in turn, make disciples of others. The goals of the process are:

1. Experienced disciples will experience greater contentment, fulfillment, and kingdom influence.

2. Experienced disciples will help equip, enable, encourage, empower, and evaluate
less experienced disciples.

3. The less experienced leaders will be developed and committed to developing other disciples.

4. Relationships between the participants are forged, strengthened, and continue beyond the duration of training.

Upcoming Workshop on Intentional Relational Leadership

I have the privilege of leading a workshop providing an overview of this process at the Calvary Global Network (CGN) International Conference at the end of June. I hope to discuss these matters with you in person at that gathering.

Editor’s Note: This is the second article in the Power and Role of Just One Color series. Click here to read the first article, published on February 6, 2024.

How can we become adept at recognizing our own gifts as well as those of local brothers and sisters?

This is one of the questions we asked in the first article of this series. Remember the monochromatic painting? I’m willing to bet that no great painter would stake his reputation on his ability to paint a masterpiece with just one color. It’d be silly, not to mention immature. That’s how small children color; it’s not how artists paint.

So Much Purple

I was teaching Sunday School last week, and at the end of class, we were each coloring a picture of the twelve disciples. I looked over at the little girl sitting next to me and noticed that she was coloring each disciple with the same purple colored pencil.

“Do you want to use a different color like green or red for these other disciples?” I asked.

“No, purple” was her reply, and that was that. She was leaving no doubt as to which color was her favorite.
I smiled.

I wasn’t baffled by her choice because she’s five and loves purple. Nothing out of the ordinary there. But imagine that instead of children, I was surrounded professional painters who’d been asked to recreate “The Last Supper” by Leonardo da Vinci. We start painting and I notice the guy next to me painted all the disciples purple. In the least, I would wonder, who let this guy in? (If this was a true story, by the way, I wouldn’t be there either. I can hold my own with five-year-olds, but adults are way out of my league.) This isn’t a real life example though, so I’m there. I would want to ask him why he chose to make them all look the same, and didn’t he know that representing them that way made them emotionless and one-dimensional? My thought might be, does he need more colors because I have some right here and will share? Does he need help with shading and mixing colors because there’re lots of artists here to ask for advice?

Using only purple wouldn’t make sense. As artists mature, so does their ability to combine just the right amount of each color to achieve the desired shade. They master seeing which white has grey undertones, which has yellow, and which is just white. They know what colors to pair together to create drama and tell a story.

Maybe it’s a cheesy example, but hopefully I’m driving home the ridiculousness of a mature person creating one-tone purple disciples.

Bringing in All the Colors

Scene shift: We’re sitting in church on Sunday morning, surrounded by modern disciples of Jesus. Real ones with blood pumping through their veins. Looking around the room, would you be able to pick out the gifts of those around you or would they all be purple generic disciples? I’m not suggesting that you need to know every gift of every person in your church, but of those who you know well, can you name them? Could they name yours?

If your answer is yes, that’s amazing. Keep leaning into each other’s gifts. Keep encouraging those around you to use their gifts.

If your answer was, “That’s a lot of purple.” Where do you start? How do we make sure that the church is full of each and every beautiful and essential color. Every gift we have testifies to the life and work of Jesus Christ and is indispensable to the health of the body as a whole. They point to the truth of the gospel that He embodied each in a unique way. Having vibrant, functioning gifts in the church is easier to talk about than to do. But it’s possible.

So how do we move out of being a purple mass and into discovering our own gifts and those of our brothers and sisters? This is a good question for friends to discuss over coffee. I’ll add my suggestions below, but don’t stop with mine. Grab some friends, a Bible, a beverage of choice, and brainstorm.

Time

Let’s get the hardest one out of the way. Our realities are stuffed with activities and appointments, so deliberately making rhythms that invest in friendships isn’t easy, and once the space is made, it still takes time for a relationship to deepen. Patiently waiting is something we aren’t used to. Sometimes friendships are jumpstarted by an intense, shared experience like a missions trip or college community living, or even a crisis, but usually it’s slow and steady. Years of earning trust and giving it. As we share life with our church family, we also share our gifts. They become revealed over time to others and to ourselves, if there’s room for that kind of sharing. I think that recognizing our gifts often happens like this. Sometimes a person has a very obvious gifting that smacks you in the face when you meet them, but for the rest of us, time is needed to peel back the layers.

Then, as time goes on and gifts are revealed, an amazing opportunity unfolds before the church: The chance to confirm the gifts that have come to the surface. The example of this that comes to my mind is in Acts 13 when Paul and Barnabas were separated out by the Holy Spirit and sent on their first missionary journey. Verse one reveals that a small group of men were prophets and teachers, Paul and Barnabas being included among them, and they were praying and fasting when the Lord spoke. Their gifts were already recognized by their fellow brothers and then confirmed by the laying on of hands. How encouraging it is when someone who knows us well says, “Yes, I see that you have that gift. You should totally go and use it.”

Love

Another thing essential to recognizing our own and others’ giftings is love. This might be just as hard as the time one; no one said this would be easy. 1 Corinthians offers the big picture of the purpose of our gifts. It tells us that they’re an outpouring of love, to benefit each other and build up each other. I haven’t been given the gift of leadership in order to get ahead or to make a name for myself. I have that gift in order to stir up, inspire, and guide my brothers and sisters to worship. Not worship me, but our Lord. Love infuses our gifts with life-giving power and humility. It frees us from our obsession to look out for number one. It makes leadership kind, giving meek, prophecy selfless, and miracles without envy.

It teaches us to pray, “What role would you have me play in this situation? What gifts are needed? Do I have any of them? If not, who does and how can my giftings empower theirs in this situation?” We don’t always need to be main participants for our gifts to be used for the building up of the church. The supporting gifts are just as vital as the ones they’re holding up, and the beautiful thing is that these positions constantly change. Preaching might be the gift on display during a sermon, but the moment it’s over, other gifts like knowledge, exhortation, and evangelism might take center stage as they work the message into the hearts of the hearers. Then comes mercy to walk beside them and hospitality to welcome them back again, prophecy to clarify, miracles to restore. I could go on. The spotlight of the church should be constantly rotating to highlight the gift that is more appropriate for each given situation.

Humility

The last essential that came to my mind was humility; knowing what we are and what we aren’t. In this context, knowing which gifts we have and which we don’t.

A friend of mine is going through a huge life transition and the idea of working through the changes with someone in the form of debrief came up as we were talking. She expressed a desire to be debriefed, but didn’t know anyone who could do it. Everything in me was screaming, “I will! I can!”

The first part of that cry was true, but not the second. I have zero training in debriefing. I can’t debrief someone in the official sense of that word. I can be a friend, but she needed someone who knew what they were doing, and I wasn’t it. It was a rare time in my life that I actually recognized my limitations. I triumphantly came home and declared, “I was at ___’s house and she needs to be debriefed. I wanted to volunteer myself, but didn’t.” Part of knowing our gifts is knowing what they aren’t.

There has to be a pause here for a warning. Let’s not get lazy and use that as an excuse to disobey. “Oh I don’t have the gift of evangelism (I really don’t), so I can’t just share the gospel with someone.” No go, sister. Every believer is called to be able and ready to share the hope that’s in them (1 Peter 3:15). That hope is Jesus, and talking about Him will inevitably lead you to share the gospel. Recognizing the lack of a certain gift isn’t the same as avoiding an uncomfortable situation or an uncomfortable aspect of the Christian life.

A healthy way of seeing what we’re not looks like this: Let’s say the church needs an office administrator and your name comes up. You know that’s not one of your gifts nor do you have the skill-set to match that gift, so you graciously decline. This isn’t disobedience; it’s discernment.

Unsure if you’re in the first or second situation? Ask! Trusted, mature believers often see things that we miss.

And go back to love. Would it be loving to take a position that I’m not gifted or qualified for? I’m probably going to leave a mess behind me that someone else will have straighten out. On the other hand, would it be loving to try to share the love of Christ with someone even if my methods or words are clunky and awkward? Yes, it would. Filter the situation through love. Would it be loving, or insert the definition of love from 1 Corinthians 13, and say, “Would it be patient, kind, etc., to do or not do this thing?”

One other question to ask is this: Is this an opportunity for me to develop a new skill and improve in an area that’s not my natural gifting? I’ve grown so much in areas that I’m not naturally gifted in by having friends who are gifted in those things and learning from them. Like my friend from the first article. Even though I don’t have the gift of discerning spirits to the degree that I can sense demonic activity in a room, I’ve learned new skills in that area that help me. My brothers and sisters have taught me how to ask certain questions, look for certain behaviors, and process a situation with them after. All of these have encouraged me and built me up to face situations that are outside of my gifting. They’ve taught me that I can grow and that I’m not alone in the process.

Spiritual gifts, when used and mixed together, create a masterpiece. And a curious thing happens when you look at the picture as a whole. No one color dominates. They all work together to point to the bigger picture: the subject of the painting, Jesus Christ.

Next Time

We will dive into the next two questions:

-How can we, as a church, facilitate opportunities for gifts to develop?

-How can we use our gifts to work together, strengthening and encouraging, instead of being threatened by, or competing with, each other?

“Jesus came and told His disciples, ‘I have been given all authority in Heaven and on earth.
Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations,
baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you.
And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.’”
Matthew 28:18-20

The final words Jesus said to His followers (and to us believers today) was to go, continue following Him, and to tell others about Jesus, show them how to walk with Him. We call this the Great Commission, and our call is no different today than it was all those years ago: discipleship.

Discipleship isn’t one of the gifts of the Spirit spoken of in Scripture (1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12, Ephesians 4, 1 Peter 4). Rather, God will utilize the spiritual gifts we’ve been given in order to disciple new believers. It’s a non-negotiable call to every single person who calls themselves a Christian. We can’t escape this commission, but how do we do it, and what does it look like? Do we have to start a weekly small group? Do we have to create a big conference, or meet one-on-one with a person and go through a book? The short answer is: sure, if that’s what God is calling you to. But discipleship will look different for every person and in every season.

Always Be Ready to Answer the Call

In September of 2022, my husband and I were called to move across the country from the west coast of California to the west coast of Florida, where I would be leading worship at a new church plant. God impressed on me that while I would be going to lead worship, my main priority would be discipleship. The two years prior to this move, I’d been discipled by a group of godly women who displayed the gifts of the Spirit in beautiful ways. He put me into a safe bubble of familiar and loving women who taught me a better way to pray, a deeper way to study God’s Word, and a more intentional way of discipleship. I learned that discipleship doesn’t always have to be a weekly Bible study or going through a discipleship book. The true call of a disciple of Jesus is to be right with Him and ready to answer God’s call of discipleship at any given moment.

The Holy Spirit gives us gifts in order to build up, stir up, and cheer up the body of Christ. So, if we’re operating in these spiritual gifts, we won’t miss a moment. Isn’t that exciting! That’s not to say I don’t miss the first cue sometimes. One Sunday morning after church while we were still in California, I wasn’t really interested in mingling afterwards. My husband and I were both real estate agents at the time and we had an open house to get to. He’s usually the one placing a gentle hand on my back signaling that he’s ready to leave, but that day our roles were reversed. I was impatiently waiting for him to wrap up an unusually long conversation, when I was introduced to a woman. Never having met until then, I tried to be pleasant, but I really wasn’t interested in talking.

To be honest (and sadly), I only listened half-heartedly as the cute, petite young woman told me she’d recently moved away from her family and was living in the area on her own. She was a doctor who focused on street medicine in the tough streets of downtown Los Angeles. I’d never heard of this specific profession before but was amazed as she told me that her team would literally walk the worst streets filled with people who were the worst off. She was feeling discouraged, and my heart began to soften as I heard her speak of her discouragement at not being able to witness to people, or pray over people, because it was a government-funded endeavor. As I saw the weariness in her face, my impatience melted, and I was able to see the clear opportunity God had given me.

I told her she reminded me of the stories in the Gospels, where Jesus would tell His disciples to do a simple task such as prepare a room for dinner, with them not knowing it would be the Last Supper. We modern-day believers have the entire Bible. We marvel at all the disciples did, when to them it all may have seemed like simple tasks. As I listened to this petite young woman tell me of the courageous work she did while walking through the roughest streets, I was in awe! I reminded her that Jesus has given her His Holy Spirit, that she could see beyond people’s physical ailments and into their souls. I reminded her, too, that God has the ability to tell her what others need deep down inside, and that as she cares for a person, she could actually be lifting them up to Jesus and asking for a healing deeper than her medical training could deliver. I then asked her if I could pray over her as I gently placed my hand on her shoulder.

After we finished praying, she had a look of relief on her face. After thanking me profusely, she asked if we could be friends, to which I wholeheartedly agreed! We exchanged phone numbers, and I was off to our open house, arriving there within five minutes. After our first meeting, we only managed to get in a few coffee dates between both of our busy schedules, but the Lord taught me something. If I’m willing to be used anywhere and at anytime, He’ll use me to touch people’s lives. He simply asks me to have a heart for discipleship, to be open to give my time and energy for His use. God knew I had an open house to get to, and He knew this young woman was in need of encouragement. I learned that day to take every single opportunity to invest in whoever God chooses to put in front of me.

Just Say “Yes” To Discipleship

Our time in Florida was not all roses and rainbows. There were a myriad of emotions involving leaving our kids, family, and friends back in California; moving three times; having to give away our dog; and navigating a new place, new friends, and new ministries. But through it all, we said “yes” to investing in whoever God put in front of us. For some friends, it was a couple of coffee dates. For others, it was a weekly Bible study or an occasional walk on the beach. I was blown away by the blessing these new friends were to me. God blessed me with beautiful lifelong friends who won’t ever be rid of me, even if they want to, haha!

So, my fellow believer, you’re called to be a disciple (to follow Jesus) and to make disciples (to help others follow Jesus). A quote I read years ago inspired me, and I will now pass it on to you. It’s taken from a book called “Replicate: How to Create a Culture of Disciple-Making Right Where You Are” by Robby Gallaty and Chris Swain. Their charge was to “Fearlessly invest your time in others.”

Put away the fear of how much time, energy, and effort you’ll have to invest, and just say “yes,” knowing God will give you all you need to encourage others. You’ll both reap the benefits of saying “yes” to the call of being and making disciples!

Walking through the front door didn’t change my mood or affect my spiritual sensibilities. The mother was lying on the couch, sick. Three of her four kids were sitting on the couch next to her. I greeted each of them and sat in the chair on the other side of the room before noticing that my three-year-old still stood in the doorway staring at me. I studied him with slightly furrowed brows. It was true that he was in a new place, but unfamiliar surroundings had yet to stop him from bounding into a room chattering away to whoever would listen—friends or strangers. I invited him to come in and sit next to me, to which he responded, “Mama, let’s go home.”

That’s weird, I thought. He’s never done that before. “We just got here,” I responded. “Come sit with me.” He did obey but walked over to me very slowly, his eyes scanning the room before landing on me. Once he reached my chair, he sat with me the entire visit. For my turbo-powered boy, this was unusual. I hadn’t planned to stay long anyway, just to check in on the mom who’d been really ill, but cut my visit even shorter because of my son. For some reason, he didn’t want to be there. At all.

I tried to explain away his odd behavior. Maybe it’s the dim lighting, I thought. Or maybe seeing a sick person in bed makes him feel uncomfortable. Maybe he’s having an off day. Even though I’d come to that house a couple of times before, maybe he was just hesitant because it was his first time. But that didn’t really fit with his personality, and for the rest of that day, the image of him standing in the doorway staring at me was in the forefront of my mind.

He wasn’t just asking to go home. His eyes were saying, “We need to go right now.” He was trying to tell me that something was wrong. But nothing was, and though the house was new to him, the people inside it weren’t. He’d seen them more than once at church. He’s only three, but what if he was feeling the way he was for a reason? I remember thinking.

The Mystery Solved

I was thinking about it so much that I finally decided to talk to one of my friends about it. I knew that she’d visited that same house a few days after me, and I also knew that she had the gift of discerning the spirits. (To learn more about this spiritual gift and others, see I Corinthians 12:4-11.) “This is a weird question,” I said, as we sat sipping on cups of coffee, “but did you feel any demonic activity in ___’s house when you were there a couple of days ago?”

She straightened in her seat and looked straight into my eyes, “Why do you ask?”

I told her about my visit and my son’s strange behavior there. “I don’t know if he was sensing something or if he was just nervous about being in a new place.”

“He wasn’t just nervous,” she said. “There’s definitely a demonic presence in that house. He might’ve been sensing something and trying to tell you.”

“Wow,” I said. “I felt nothing. No demonic presence and no discomfort. Hmmm.”

“He could be more sensitive to those things than you are. He’s young, but it’s good to be aware of. He might be able to feel the spiritual realm more than you. Some people can do so more than others.”

With that, the mystery was solved, and the conversation flowed on to other topics. I laid the incident to rest because I trusted this friend and knew that if she said something was going on in that house, then there was something going on in that house. Not being able to sense it, though, made me feel lame. My three-year-old was picking up on demonic activity more than I was, and the temptation was to beat myself up about it.

But I chose not to. I believe that walking into a room and being able to discern spiritual activity is a gift that some are given, and some aren’t. It doesn’t mean that those who have this gift are closer to the Lord or more spiritual. It just means that they’ve been given that particular gift. While I should always be growing in discernment and wisdom, I might not ever be able to walk into a room and instantly feel the presence or absence of demonic activity. The Spirit, in His perfect will, has chosen to give me other gifts. No gift is more or less important than another, and no one has them all. This is one reason that we need each other (1 Peter 4:10-11).

My friend’s gifting helped me make sense of my experience. She was able to speak truth and guidance into my situation because of her gift, and it’s happened more than once. I’ve learned to rely on her and other people in my church who have this gift. There’ve been other times that my son has sensed something, or that even I have sensed that something, is “off” or that others have shared with me about their encounters with demonic forces.

And in each of these cases, I needed the help of my brothers and sisters who have different giftings than I do. I need their gifts to come in and fill the void in mine. When this happens, we share deep fellowship as the Spirit in them flows out and meets my questions and searching. Their strength in this area makes up for my weakness.

No Need to Be a Maverick, Just a Color Painted In

I don’t see a call in Scripture to possess every spiritual gift, and that’s a relief. Think of the pressure!

Instead, an exhortation is repeated to build each other up with the unique gifts that each has been given. Not having all gifts is not a limitation but an opportunity to cultivate relationships and dependence. The D-word makes me uncomfortable, if I’m honest. In my pride, I’d rather be able to do everything on my own and leave the interdependence for the weak. But God, in His grace, is correcting my perspective. He’s showing me what a blessing it is to be interdependent. I exhaust myself trying to be all and do all—something I was never created to be and do.

I was created to be an integral part of a living organism. One part. A member of a body of distinct and unique people with Spirit-infused gifts that together, as a unit, breathe out life and truth, transforming the world around it. I was created to bring a vital set of gifts to that body, not to bring them all (Romans 12:3-8).

In other words, I’m one color, not the whole painting.

Close your eyes and picture a painting that is only one color. Not light blue and navy blue and turquoise, but one blue because even shades of the same color are created by combining different colors. One color means just one shade of blue. It might be possible to paint something like this, but it wouldn’t be multi-dimensional, and it’d be boring. Without different colors, there’d be no way to create interest with depth because, for that, you need contrast. All the colors working together is what dazzles the eye and pulls it in. One color all by itself is pretty, but it isn’t a work of art.

The opposite is also true. Removing one color from a painting would ruin it. “The Starry Night” by Vincent van Gogh, with all blue removed, wouldn’t only lose its beauty, it’d also fail to accurately represent what the artist had set out to paint. An artist skillfully chooses colors, mixes them with care, and places them on a specific area of the canvas. In the same way, we were skillfully chosen, mixed together with other believers, and placed in a local church: a body of Christ (I Corinthians 12:12-25).

In the following series of articles, I want to explore what being one color mixed and painted into a myriad of others looks like practically. How can our local churches reflect the reality that each person’s spiritual gifting is meant to build up those of others? How can we, as one color, fit ourselves into the bigger picture, adding beauty and life, drawing in those looking from afar? How does doing this turn our attention to the Creator of the picture as a whole and away from each individual color?

Questions We’ll Explore in the Upcoming Series

These are some of the questions we will explore together as we dive deeper into the following concepts:

How can we become adept at recognizing our own gifts as well as those of local brothers and sisters?

How can we, as a church, facilitate opportunities for gifts to develop?

How can we use our gifts to work together, strengthening and encouraging, instead of being threatened by or competing with each other?