Rural America Matters Too

Cheryl will be leading a Training Track on women in ministry at the CGN International Conference on June 24-27! Ladies, this will be a great opportunity to meet and talk to Cheryl! Register now!

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I entered the role of a senior pastor’s wife when I was only 23. That’s probably the reason that I barely acknowledged it until a woman I met in San Diego brought it to my attention. Her husband was grandstanding at a children’s exhibition that my children were waiting to play on. I hadn’t recognized her until she turned to me. After introducing herself, she informed me that her husband was opening a church in our shared county. Then she gushed, “I can’t wait to be a senior pastor’s wife. What’s it like?”

It was a question I had never considered before.

It took me off guard. Somehow, I had never seen myself or my role as a “Senior Pastor’s Wife”. Yes, I was married to the lead pastor, but that’s as far as my thoughts had ever gone. It seemed to be the least of the roles I held. Foremost, I was Jesus’ follower. Following Jesus had brought me to and into the place I stood. I had hardly noticed the journey or the lookout point where I was standing.

Simply following Jesus, I had fallen in love with a godly young man who had a heart for God’s Word and His people. Simply following Jesus had led to marriage, ministry and children. I had never intentionally directed my life but had sought to be directed by the Spirit of the Lord. Suddenly, I realized that I was standing on a lookout point called “Senior Pastor’s Wife.” Who knew?

I had not been aware of my footing until the woman at the exhibit had asked me what it felt like. Not to sound overly spiritual, but I had had my focus so on Jesus, that I hadn’t really noticed my placement.

It was the same way during my years of childhood. Many people were in awe of my dad. I can’t even begin to recount the times I was asked, “What’s it feel like to be Chuck Smith’s daughter?” I never considered what it was like to be the daughter of “Chuck Smith”, but I could tell you in detail what it was like to be the daughter of my dad. To me, my father was not an idol, he was a loving even doting father who sung to me, prayed over me, laughed with me, and was a constant source of security in my life. Ask me what he was like, and I will define him by the relationship we shared. I knew him only from a distance as Chuck Smith, but I knew him intimately as my father.

So, I knew the role of senior pastor’s wife only from a distance, but I knew the relationship I shared with Jesus intimately. “Senior Pastor’s Wife” was only a precipice, a lookout point and a location. Following Jesus was an objective, a purpose and a lifelong adventure that would always be moving, curving and climbing.

“Pastor’s wife” is the call or placement of Jesus for me; it is not my identity, nor does it define me.

I am first and foremost a follower of Jesus. For me, personally, this is a great relief; I don’t have to know or perfectly execute the role of the senior pastor’s wife. I don’t have to memorize lines and dialogue. I don’t have to wear the right costume, move my hands in a certain formation, and know where to stand on stage. Even in this place, my lifelong objective and purpose have not changed; I am a first and foremost a follower of Jesus.

Perhaps like me, you never saw your life heading to this place—Senior Pastor’s Wife.

Nevertheless, here you are. You might be wondering what is required of you or if there is a specialized handbook for this place that will give you all the instructions you need. There is not. Why? Because, being a senior pastor’s wife is a call, a placement, a location rather than an identity. What you do in this place stems from who you are in Christ. Who you are in Christ stems from the self-discovery inherent in losing yourself in Christ and thereby finding the person He created you to be.

Personally, this vital understanding of Jesus’ call on my life had made all the difference in my perspective, personal interactions, participation and enjoyment of this place.

Undoubtedly, there are unique challenges and unique benefits in this place, even as the lagoons in Hawaii are unique to the precipices of the Grand Canyon. It requires different attire, but not costumes. It requires different activity and concerns, but not acting. From this vantage point, the view gives a special perspective, but not an exclusive perspective.

Placement as a senior pastor’s wife is a divine call.

It is the way in which God, the divine and loving creator, has purposed for me, and you, to serve Him. Since it is a call, it has a purpose, His enabling power, and potential fruitfulness already resident. Since it is a call, it deserves our attention, our appreciation and our carefulness. Since it is a call, it cannot be ignored or refused, but humbly accepted.

This is what I’ve learned over the past 38 years as a pastor’s wife, and what I saw modeled by my mother in the 50 or so years I was able to watch her minister in this call.

There is so much to explore, enjoy and experience in this call. Just to reiterate, it is not a superior call—every call of God is priceless! However, it is a unique call. Like every great call of God, it is the divinely chosen way for you and me to serve our great God and Savior.

What is the Lord building in your life right now?

The Lord is always working in our lives. We might know about two or three of the things He is doing with us, but in fact, there are thousands of areas He is working in us, minute by minute, that we don’t even know about. “It is He who works in us both to will and to do for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13).

So I ask again, what is the Lord building in your life right now? Think about it for a minute.

Is He building perseverance, patience, faith, trust, peace, relationships, faithfulness…? We know the areas God is moving in our situation. Whenever God is leading us toward growth or a new calling or season, there is always a temptation to try to do it in our own strength. But God knows it must be His work, not ours; it must be a work of the Holy Spirit.

In Zechariah chapter four, we read about a vision that came to Zechariah about Zerubbabel. Zerubbabel was the civil leader of Israel in the time after the Babylonian exile. He was engaged in rebuilding the temple after the people had returned home. It was a huge undertaking, and there was much opposition from the surrounding peoples. God sent this word to Zerubbabel through the prophet Zechariah in chapter four, verse six, He says, “Not by might, nor by power, but by My spirit, says the Lord Almighty.”

What is the Lord building in your life?

What are the areas He is knocking on, wanting to come in with His spirit and bring order? Where are you trying so hard in your own strength, to no avail? The Lord wants to remind you today that it is not your work; you don’t have to do it. All you have to do is let His spirit in; don’t resist Him. He is the one who will complete the good work in you and bring order to the chaos you are experiencing in certain areas of your life.

When we let God’s spirit in, to do the building in our lives then, it is just like God spoke to Zechariah in the next verse of chapter four. Verse seven says, “What are you, oh mighty mountain, before Zerubbabel you will be level ground.”

You see, as Zerubbabel understood, the building of the temple was not by his might or power, but by the spirit; as he invited God’s spirit to do the building work, then all opposition (the great mountain) became level. No opposition can remain in the path of God’s Holy Spirit.

What are the mountains in your life that seem so great, so impossible, so insurmountable?

I would encourage you to remember the word of the Lord. Your might, your power, your intellect, your niceness, your effort, your desperation are simply not enough to overcome, but if you will hand the work over to the Holy Spirit, He will bring order and peace to your situation. He will build the ruins of your life, just as He empowered Zerubbabel to rebuild the temple.

God goes onto say in verse nine, “The hands of Zerubbabel have laid the foundations of this temple; His hands will complete it.” God was encouraging Zerubbabel that the work would not drag on hopelessly with no end in sight. No, he was telling Zerubbabel that He would see the work completed. What are those areas in your life that feel so hopeless, where you feel you’ll never see an end to it, never see it finished? Well, the Lord is encouraging you today, that by the power of the Holy Spirit, you will see an end to the struggle; it will not always be like this. “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it!” (Philippians 1:6).

Today, it may feel like you’ve barely even taken the first step up what seems like a looming mountain of fear. Perhaps you feel you haven’t even taken the first step, you’re just living perpetually in the shadow of your mountain of impossibility; well, here in verse 10 God says, “who despises the day of small beginnings?” Maybe inviting the Holy Spirit into work on your mountain seems like a very small beginning, but remember, you should not despise this. This is the first step up the mountain. God’s Holy Spirit will do such beautiful work in you, you will see His goodness transforming your life, “with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).

You can’t do it on your own.

You are not up to the task, but it is not by your might, not by your power, but by God’s spirit. Hand your hidden areas over to God; give Him your chaos, your ruins, your mess. His Holy Spirit will do the work that you can’t do on your own.

And remember, when the work is done, all we can say is “to God be the glory; great things He has done,” because we know we didn’t do it ourselves.

One question I am sometimes asked is how a person can know what their “calling” in life is. Some of the Protestant Reformers had a particular view on this topic which is helpful for us in how we think about “calling” in our lives.

The words “occupation,” “job” and “vocation” are used more or less interchangeably by people today.

“Vocational training,” for example, refers to training specific to a particular line of work. However, for the Reformers, the word “vocation” had a distinct meaning.

The word vocation comes from the Latin word vocare, literally: “calling.”

For the Reformers, to speak of work as vocation, reflected their view that “secular” work is actually a calling from God to do his work in the world and to love your neighbor by serving them in practical ways.

This was in contrast to the view which was held by the medieval Roman Catholic Church, which made a strong distinction between sacred and secular realms of life, the sacred realm being reserved for things directly related to religious or church work, and the secular realm being that of all non-church-related activity. This view, however, is still very common – and the language of “secular” vs “sacred” is still very prominent. Think about all the times you have heard people talk about “secular music” as opposed to “Christian music,” or if you have heard people talk about “secular jobs” as opposed to “ministry.”

To this, Luther wrote:

“What seem to be secular works are actually the praise of God and represent an obedience which is well-pleasing to him.’ Housework may have ‘no obvious appearance of holiness, yet those household chores are to be more valued than all the works of monks and nuns.’” (From Luther’s commentary on Genesis)

To the person struggling to find their calling, Luther might have responded, “Are you a husband or a wife? Are you a mother or a father, a child or an employee?” (See Colossians 3:17-24)

The Reformers would have pushed back against the concept of “finding your calling.” Your calling, they would have said, is not something mysterious or difficult to discern. It is the current circumstances of your life. If you are a mother, then your calling is to be a mother. If you are an office worker, then it is to be an office worker. There is a freedom to change what you do, but whatever you do, you are to view it as a calling from God to serve Him by serving your neighbor in that context. This is not to diminish the fact that God does call some people into “vocational ministry,” but rather to elevate the value of work done outside the church realm as genuine callings, which can be done as ministry: being God’s instrument to accomplish His work in the world.

Martin Luther used this example:

“Jesus instructed his disciples to pray: ‘Give us this day our daily bread.’ Consider how many people and jobs are involved in God answering that one prayer: there is a farmer who plants and waters and harvests grain. There’s a miller, who grinds the grain into flour. There’s someone who produces oil. There’s someone who transports the materials. There’s a baker. There is a grocer who sells the bread. All of these people, as they do their jobs, are contributing to the answering of this prayer: ‘Give us this day our daily bread.’”

He went on to point out that Psalm 147 says that God is the one who strengthens and protects a city, and yet this work is done through lawmakers and first responders.

What transforms a job into a calling is faith.

By faith, we see our daily activities as tasks given to us by God to be done for His glory and for the benefit of others.

By these criteria, we can also determine which jobs are not worth doing. If you do not believe that what you are doing is honoring God or contributing to the flourishing of other people, or if the way you make your money is actually detrimental to others, then the right thing to do might be to find another job.

This principle should not be taken to mean that you must not leave your job if, for example, the working climate or culture is unhealthy, or if you would simply like to pursue another career. It simply means that you ought to view whatever you do as a way to glorify God and do His work in the world by serving others.

Almost a year ago there was a need for a new youth worship leader, and therefore I was thrust into a whole new world. I thought, “I’ve led worship for years. This’ll be easy!” Famous last words.

I committed to a year of serving in youth, leading worship and leading a small group for the junior & senior girls.

I was so stoked at first, excited to make some much needed changes and see the students grow in not only their music abilities, but in their hearts for the Lord. And then things got real. I realized that leading worship for women’s retreats, church services and special events was filled with pats on the back and praise for a job well done. Youth worship had none of that. I remember thinking, “This is harder than leading worship in jail! At least the incarcerated are happy to see me!”

Something happened that I wasn’t expecting. Something that takes great humiliation to admit. It didn’t happen right away, but it was slow and sneaky. As I was winding up cords and turning off lights all by myself after service, I thought, “Nobody even notices what I’m doing. Nobody appreciates this; youth ministry is a thankless job!” While that may be true at times, I let this momentary discontentment in my heart grow like a cancer, and I lost sight of what I had set out to do. It changed from an opportunity to a burden, from a blessing to a chore. This tumor of doubt grew to a point that it started effecting the way I responded to the Lord and those I had set out to serve.

Youth ministry is like a picture of organic farming.

I’m not really an all organic, non GMO, raw milk drinking mama…but bear with me as I paint this picture. In order for a plant to thrive, the soil needs to be tilled; the seed needs to be planted, watered, warmed by the sun, and weeds need to be tamed. And at just the right time, that plant will flourish. When serving young people, sometimes you till, sometimes you plant, water, warm or tame weeds, and none of that is wasted. All of it leads to a healthy, nourished and fully mature plant that will bear beautiful fruit.

How hilarious it would be, if with every seed a farmer planted, he announced, “I’m planting a seed! Just planted another one! Oh look, now I’m WATERING a seed! Aaaaaand I just pulled a weed, yay, me!” Sounds silly, right, but it’s the same as me wishing that someone would come up and congratulate me on a job well done. I was saddened by how deep I had let that bitterness sink in and only by acknowledging it before the Lord was I refilled with that passion I started with, but now reborn with a new excitement! I get to be part of the growing process, what a privilege!

Have you been in a place where you were so excited to start a new ministry or church or small group?

It was SO clear in your mind how things should go, until they didn’t, and then things got blurry and boring and burdensome. In the words of Ice Cube, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself.” Don’t lose the vision just because it didn’t come to fruition as fast as you wanted it to. Zechariah 4:10 says, “Don’t despise the small beginnings.” Be faithful in whatever you have been called to do, knowing that the timing of the fruit isn’t up to you, but God! Do your part then sit and watch Him work!

A “wannabe” is defined as:

1. A person who wants or aspires to be someone or something else or who tries to look or act like someone else.

2. Something (such as a company, city or product) intended to rival another of its kind that has been successful; especially: one for which hopes have failed or are likely to fail.

There is dissatisfaction, aspiration, emulation and failure in being a wannabe.

Dissatisfaction, because what they are doesn’t impress them as much as someone else. Aspiration, in that a wannabe wants to be more than they already are. So instead of staying themselves, they work on being like somebody else. But that imitation is not likely to succeed. There is already a person who is the real thing. People do not want an imitation; they want the real thing. Granted, there is a niche for tribute bands and Elvis imitators. But imitating Elvis is not like being Elvis. When a company comes out with a “me too” product, they are not likely to be as good as the original product. So that attempt to be like someone else or something else is already headed to failure. No one is going to take the place of that original person or thing.

One of the powerful conforming tendencies of our culture is to be something more than we naturally are. We have a culture full of wannabes. It shows itself in imitators of all kinds. There is also a deeper current of personal dissatisfaction in the gay and trans movements. I don’t like myself as I am. I would be happier if I were another gender, another person altogether. There seems to be no end of official encouragement to be something other than who you are, that satisfaction and happiness is in being something other than what you are right now.

I got on to this line of thinking as I meditated through Psalm 86:10, “For You are great, and do wondrous things; You alone are God.” I thought about how there is only one God, and almost immediately I thought of a verse that augmented that, 1 Corinthians 8:5-6:

“For even if there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as there are many gods and many lords), yet for us there is one God, the Father, of whom are all things, and we for Him; and one Lord Jesus Christ, through whom are all things, and through whom we live.”

Isn’t it interesting that there are many gods and many lords? There were all the Greek and Roman and local deities that Paul and the first Christians had to deal with. Behind those are the principalities and powers, the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. And behind those is the devil.

What struck me then was the realization that the devil is a wannabe.

He had aspiration to be something greater than he was because he was dissatisfied with what God made him. Because there is no one greater, he wanted to be God. And so he emulates God. He is the god of this world. He has his angels. He gives favor to those who seek him. He wields power, and he schemes; and he exercises authority. He falls short of being God and is now lower than what God originally made him.

Since the devil is the prince of the power of the air, he determines the environment, the atmosphere in which this dark world lives. Part of the mindset of this world is dissatisfaction with the person we are. We don’t measure up. We compare ourselves with one another: Am I better than they, or are they better? Do I win or lose? Many of us don’t measure up because we are duds and lumps. Emulating others does not lead to success. It leads to being seen as a wannabe. Not measuring up leads to discouragement. Even in Christian circles there’s the tendency to compare oneself and measure oneself by others. There is a real temptation to emulate successful ministers and to despair if emulation is impossible.

I wish I were somebody else is the doorway to discouragement and despair. The answer is not in somehow trying to change ourselves to be like someone else. It lies in the opposite direction, to become what God intends for you to be. The good news is we are not to be like anyone else. To be like another sinner is simply not enough. What are we going to be, then?

God wants us to become like Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

That is far better than becoming like someone else. The Son of God is a one-of-a-kind. Unique. As we follow Him and imitate Him, we become unique, one-of-a-kind people. You can see this in 1 Thessalonians 1:6-7, “And you became followers of us and of the Lord, having received the word in much affliction, with joy of the Holy Spirit, so that you became examples to all in Macedonia and Achaia who believe.”

“Followers” is the Greek word from which we get the English word, “imitate.” The Thessalonians imitated Paul, what he believed, did and said. As they imitated Paul, they became “examples.” The Greek word is tupos, from which we get the word “type.” A type is an original from which one makes copies. These believers started out emulating and imitating Paul, but they didn’t end up wannabes. They became originals that others began to imitate in following Jesus. In following Paul, the Thessalonians were following Christ. Paul said to the Corinthian church in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.”

What will that look like? Outwardly, it might look rough. We will suffer, as Christ did. God will do a work in us to make us humble, just like Jesus, even as He does a work through us to benefit others. There will be setbacks, betrayals, the work will be hard and not always appreciated in this life.

Inwardly it will be glorious. We will be sustained by strength from heaven. We will know God’s love for us in Christ. We are going to love everybody. That may not look outwardly spectacular, but love is always eternally significant. Eternal significance is a lot better than being temporally famous and building huge monuments to ourselves. Our names may not be widely known in this world, but we are well known by God.

The source of our individuality is our calling in Christ.

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10).

As we pursue those good works that God has prepared for each one of us to do, we will inevitably become unique. That course God has for you and its experiences will forge your character and develop you to be the person He wants you to be. It also makes comparison irrelevant. Why should your path look like anyone else’s? All that matters is doing what God wants each one of us to do. Then we can enjoy, “Well done, good and faithful servant,” forever.

My first job was at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa. I filed invoices, filled paper in copy machines, and learned the ins and outs of data entry at Calvary Distribution.

When you grow up working in the ministry, there’s an interesting process of discovery. You discover that people might fail, but Jesus never does. You discover that Christians have good days and bad days, and there are many ways to approach the business world from a Gospel perspective. You glean as much of the good as possible, and try to find the best in the logistics of ministry.

Separating your identity in Christ from your identity in ministry is a lifelong challenge.

At one of the ministries where I worked, I heard a transition plan shared. It involved the whole staff being removed from payroll, allowing the previous staff to spend a significant portion of time in prayer, fasting, and vision before anyone was rehired.

I was outraged at this idea.

The idea of firing a whole staff was ridiculous, at best, in my mind.

Over a decade later, that idea now seems brilliant. It didn’t end up being necessary or right in that place, but I understand now the point of that proposal. It was less about firing the staff and more about identifying our motives and calling to ministry.

The simple question still remains: if I knew that I would never receive another penny of income from any ministry source, would I continue to walk in the calling God has given me?

Working in the ministry has never meant receiving a massive income. I recently discovered that my twenty-one-year old friend working in the food service industry in Orange County makes double the amount I have ever received per month from a ministry job. It has never been about the money.

The Gospel we proclaim comes at a price of personal magnitude. At times, we will be misunderstood. Our friends may wound us. Our hearts may betray us. Our leaders may leave us.

I recently came across this verse in my personal devotional readings:

Its heads give judgment for a bribe; its priests teach for a price; its prophets practice divination for money; yet they lean on the LORD and say, “Is not the LORD in the midst of us? No disaster shall come upon us.” Micah 3:11 ESV

Scripture gives a clear, radical, tangible warning against teaching for a price, and yet I often find, to turn the phrase, that it comes at a price.

The Gospel we proclaim comes at a price of personal magnitude. At times, we will be misunderstood. Our friends may wound us. Our hearts may betray us. Our leaders may leave us.

Jesus never will.

The more I understand the Gospel, the more I marvel at the way Jesus lived the perfect life. His preaching came at a price, but He never joined the payroll of a ministry budget. He modeled a radical, sacrificial, generous love to all. It wasn’t a job. It was always a calling.

For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 1:26-31

Consider your calling. We know that because of Jesus, who became to us ALL THINGS, we can boast in the Lord, who saved us, and called us, and allows even our foolishness to be used for His glory.

I hope that if I knew that from tomorrow there would never be a dime of income at any time from any church, I would stop, and listen to Jesus.

And then carry on with whatever He called me to do, because He paid the only price that is eternal.

“Therefore take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood” (Acts 20:28).

Many businesses have a job description for their various positions. Whatever the job, there’s a list of guidelines for what the job entails.

Pastors have a ministry description. It’s found in Paul’s words to the Ephesian elders. Man doesn’t define the work of a pastor; it’s set by God because it’s His flock and the pastor works for Him. The pastor must remember that before a church hired him, he was ordained and appointed by God. Because of the day-to-day complexities of ministry, it’s easy for a pastor to lose perspective on his calling and try to meet the expectations of people. Since the church board hired him and has the power to fire him, he can easily slip into the mode of trying to make them happy, instead of doing what God has called him to. The temptation to be a mere hireling instead of a true shepherd is all too common.

Paul reminds the Ephesian elders that they must bend all diligence toward their calling. They do that by shepherding the flock of God. That may be a bit abstract for us since we’re not a pastoral society as they were.

For the Ephesians, it would have been crystal. They all knew what a shepherd did. The shepherd’s task was three-fold. He was to feed, lead, and protect the flock. No more and no less. The thing is, if he did those three things well, the flock would be well-served and be healthy and grow.

The first task of a pastor is to feed the flock.

Shepherds know the health of sheep is directly tied to their diet, so they seek out the best pasture. In the same way, pastors must be diligent to provide a steady diet of God’s Word. That’s exactly what Paul had done in the three years he spent in Ephesus. In Acts 20:27 he said, “I have not shunned to declare to you the whole counsel of God.” As a pastor’s pastor, Paul knew the importance of a well-rounded spiritual diet. He didn’t center his teaching just on pet topics or scriptural hobbyhorses. In the years he spent in Ephesus, he taught through the Scriptures. If a pastor spends all his time teaching just one section of the Bible or just a few comfortable topics, then he’s feeding the sheep an unbalanced diet. They won’t be healthy.

Growing up, all three of my children were finicky eaters. If they had their way, they would have eaten only one thing for most of their meals—chicken fingers and fries. As parents concerned for their health, my wife and I knew that diet would make them sickly, so we put other food before them. Though they preferred fries, there were no fries, so they ate what we gave them. They grew up to be healthy and thanked us for the love we showed by giving them what they needed rather than what they wanted.

The children of God are often like our kids. There are certain things they love to hear about. If they had their way, they’d get a steady diet of only that. End times prophecy, the wonderful blessings and promises of God, His mercy and love. But if that’s all people ever heard, they’d end up spiritually anemic. Pastors must be diligent to make sure they give a well-balanced diet of the whole counsel of God.

Because of the day-to-day complexities of ministry, it’s easy for a pastor to lose perspective on his calling and try to meet the expectations of people.

As the shepherd tends the sheep, he keeps a careful eye on them. If he notices there’s some distress among them that can be corrected by a specialized diet, he moves them to that pasture. And so it is with the flock of God. Sometimes we go through seasons of special need, where a whole lot of folk are dealing with the same issue. When that happens, we take a break from our normal course of study to do a topical message or series. We consider such topical messages as spiritual vitamins that meet a specific need.

We’ve had periods of widespread marital trouble, so we teach on marriage. We’ve had seasons of intense spiritual warfare, so we teach on our authority in Christ and the armor of God. We’ve seen times when there are a lot of people coming to faith, so we took a few weeks to lay a solid foundation in the basics of the faith. The point is, the pastor’s goal is healthy sheep. Their spiritual diet is the most crucial aspect of that.

The pastor’s second task is to lead the flock.

Along with a healthy diet, sheep need exercise. In Psalm 23 we read, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want, He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside the still waters.” If the sheep only eat and lie in green pastures, they get fat. And a fat sheep is in grave danger!

Phillip Keller was a professional shepherd who wrote a marvelous little book titled A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23. His insights into the life of a shepherd and sheep open Psalm 23 as a wonderful masterpiece. Keller says that left to themselves, sheep are such creatures of habit they’ll stay in one place and so over-graze it, it ruins the pasture. They’ll keep going over the same trails until they’re muddy ruts. They’ll graze until the grass is gone, and then paw the dirt to dig up the roots. As their health deteriorates, parasites and diseases take hold. So the diligent shepherd moves the flock from pasture to pasture.

It’s no wonder God likens people to sheep. We too are creatures of habit. Many believers don’t like change. But if we’re going to grow, we must change; there’s no growth without it. So pastors must be diligent to keep the flock of God from becoming complacent and settling down to a religious routine that fails to stay current with the Holy Spirit.

Remember, God calls a man to be a pastor. With that call comes all that’s needed to fulfill the call. Where God guides, He provides. Since a pastor’s task is to lead the flock, God gives him what he needs to take them where He wants them led. That’s what a vision is. So we could say that “when God calls, He installs.” That vision is a mental picture of what God wants the flock to become; a healthy, holy, loving, growing congregation doing a specific work in their community. Faithfulness in the pastoral ministry means staying on course in the pursuit of that vision.

The third task of the pastor is to protect the flock.

In Acts. 20:29-30 Paul tells the Ephesian elders, “For I know this, that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock. Also from among yourselves men will rise up, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after themselves.”

Paul spoke both from experience and by prophecy here. In many of the churches he planted, once he left, false teachers appeared and started in with their attacks. He knew it would happen in Ephesus, so he warned the elders to be on guard and watch out for false teachers. They’d come both from without and within.

One of the great concerns of a shepherd is a predator. Wolves and wild dogs hover round the edges of the flock, waiting for the chance to make off with a lamb. Lions and other carnivores see sheep as easy pickins’ so a good shepherd keeps a sharp eye out to protect his flock. His diligence is enough to keep the wolf at bay. But lions are bold and attack even when he’s watching, so he intervenes with the tools of his trade. The rod was a deadly weapon in the hand of a skilled shepherd. The sling could really put the hurt on.

David tells of two times when predators came to take from his father’s flock, but he delivered the sheep from the lion and the bear. That experience emboldened him to believe he could go against a predator named Goliath when he was harassing the flock of God, the people of Israel.

Paul tells the pastors of Ephesus they must keep watch over and protect their flocks. They face perils from without. False teachers are like savage wolves with one aim, to feast on God’s people. They also face peril from within. Some of them, the very men Paul was speaking to that day in Miletus, would go bad. The power of their position would corrupt them and they’d go off into destructive doctrines and practices that would bring spiritual ruin. The same is true today. There’s danger from without. Cults, false teachers, religious shysters and hucksters abound. They hover around the edge of the church, looking for the opportunity to rush in and rip people off.

There’s also danger that rises from within. Wolves in sheep’s clothing who appear to be a part of the flock but who have their own agenda. They worm their way into people’s confidence, then slowly start to draw people away from truth through clever means. They say things that sound godly but really just appeal to the flesh. They suggest those God has ordained to lead aren’t as pure and holy as they could be. They plant doubts in people’s minds through seemingly offhand remarks. But they aren’t offhand at all; they’re calculated to fire a dart of doubt into unwary hearts.

The pastor’s task is to feed, lead, and protect the flock of God he’s assigned to. May each of us be faithful to our calling.

In this post I will answer the most common questions I am asked about men’s ministry.

1. Why is men’s ministry so important?

Ready yourself for some sobering statistics. The typical U.S. congregation draws an adult crowd that’s 61% female, 39% male (Barna). On any given Sunday there are 13 million more adult women than men in America’s churches (2000 Census, David Murrow). This Sunday almost 25% of married women will worship without their husbands (Barna). Over 70% of the boys who are being raised in a church will leave it during their teens and twenties (Lifeway Research). And … fewer than 10% of U.S. churches are able to establish or maintain a vibrant men’s ministry (David Murrow, author of Why Men Hate Going to Church). The men that are called to be serving and leading are leaving … we need to reach the men.

2. How do we convince our men that men’s ministry is important?

You don’t. The key to convincing men that they should plug into men’s ministry is to have an excellent men’s ministry. Pray that God develops an atmosphere in your ministry that men will not want to miss, and it will progressively grow and flourish over time.

3. When is the best time for men to meet?

Schedules throughout the week make it difficult for men to get together, so you have to find the right time. My experience is that weekends (including Friday nights) take men away from their family time, so I have found that midweek is best. Early mornings, before work, can be excellent times for men to connect. Let me say that if your church already has 6 to 7 men meeting for prayer and coffee one morning a week, then you have the foundation for a great men’s ministry! I prefer to meet on Tuesday nights with the men and to keep commitment levels high, we meet twice a month. Twice a month is enough to keep the men relationally connected.

4. Our men’s ministry is very stagnant; what do we do?

Let me share a basic element regarding men’s ministry … every man in the room should have the opportunity to teach and share from the Word of God. Every two weeks (or weekly) have the men read a book of the Bible and tell them to be prepared to share any insights that the Lord showed them in the text. It is that simple. When you combine conversational Bible study with food, prayer, worship, and even small groups … men grow in a myriad of ways. Let me share with you some of the fruit of interactive Men’s Bible study.

-You encourage the men to take their biblical knowledge and spiritual lives public. Interaction causes them to go “on the record.”

-The gifts of the Spirit are in operation through the men on a weekly basis. Words of wisdom, prophecy, faith, exhortation, and teaching are exercised as men share the Word of God. Often men don’t even know how they are impacting others through insights that they bring forward. It is an opportunity for the Holy Spirit to move supernaturally in a very natural way.

-When a man shares what God has shown him in a particular text and how he is humbly responding to God’s direction, it has a powerful sharpening and maturing effect on everyone in the room.

-It encourages men to read their Bibles every day and to abide in a relationship with Christ.

-The men learn to teach the Bible. You should only encourage “soundbite” sharing for a couple of minutes per man but the limited insights that come out of their personal study will be a blessing to all who hear.

-It gives me as a pastor an opportunity to get to know the men better and to see where they are in their walks with Christ. I get to put my finger on the pulse of my brothers spiritual lives by interacting with them.

-This type of interaction works well with groups up to 60 or more … If your men’s ministry is larger than 60 men, feel free to share in the comments section how your men’s ministry is functioning. I would love to hear about your men’s ministry!

5. How do we get the men to be accountable to other men?

Men are dealing with serious issues of temptation on a daily basis which threaten to derail not only them but their families as well. Therefore men desperately need a refuge where they can come, get equipped, pray for each other, and fight the good fight of faith together. So, having said all of that, let me remind you that accountability is the byproduct of healthy relationships. If we set the framework for men to grow strong in their relationships with Jesus and each other, we will have taken the biggest step toward accountability. Accountability through community. A second step toward accountability can be the addition of small groups for sharing one another’s burdens in powerful prayer. Small groups should be intimate, “leak proof,” and centered on gracious exhortation and authenticity. Remember, effective men’s ministry is not sin centered, it is Jesus centered.

Years ago I ran into a man at a retreat that I hadn’t seen for quite a while…As we sat down across from each other I asked him what he was doing nowadays and what ministries he was engaged in (he had been actively serving in his church when I saw him last). His answer went something like this…”I have been going to the men’s ministry and the pastor even asked me if I would be a men’s small group leader, but I said no”.

So, I asked him “Are you pretty busy at work right now?” His reply? “No, I haven’t been working lately actually, I lost my job…I just said no to leading a small group because I thought that none of the men could relate to me since I am single and currently jobless.” So, as you can imagine I walked over to his side of the couch, gave him a big hug and said “what a lousy situation…I am so sorry for you, I totally understand”.

No, I didn’t do that. Instead, I told him to seriously rethink his decision. I understand what this brother was going through. Every person reading this can empathize, to some degree, with a man who is out of work. It is very hard on a man to be unemployed. For many men, being without a job is just a small step toward falling into depression. Men need to work. Christian men also have a need to serve their Master. That is why I was so up-front with my brother; I knew the value that he could bring to that small group. God was providing a way out of his funk (by being a blessing to others) but he wanted no part of it. At the end of the day, he lost a wonderful opportunity to serve other men.

That brings me to the point of this post. I am hearing variations on this theme over and over lately. Men who defer. Men who refuse to take responsibility in the church. Men who excuse themselves. Excuses come easy to us men because men are weak…and weak men use weak excuses. I speak from experience, I use them myself. As all men of God have learned though, making an excuse doesn’t mean that we are excused. I am not excused. God will not allow that.

Can I be so bold? Men of God need to step up and quit making sinful excuses that ultimately keep us from doing God’s will. The church is suffering because of it. The world is suffering because of it. Operative definition of an excuse? Telling God He doesn’t know what He is doing when He calls on us to do His will.

Yet God can relate to us and our excuses…Have you ever noticed how many great men throughout the Bible were visited by God and they excused themselves from His call? What is played out multiple times in Scripture is a scenario where God comes to a man (often an obscure individual) and tells him that He has a mission to fulfill. The man will then think through God’s call to action, size himself up for the task and then the man will give God his best “reason” as to why he cannot do it. The Bible contains a long list of excuse makers. On that list are names like Adam, Jeremiah, Moses, Gideon, Samson, Jonah, Elijah and Peter. People greatly used of God…but only after God (through various means) showed them that He meant business.

Why does the Bible depict such deeply flawed heroes in all their depravity? Well, of course the answer to that is God only uses weak men and it seems the weaker the better. Paul sums it up like this “For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty…that no flesh should glory in His presence” 1 Corinthians 1: 26-29. The only way that God can be glorified is by using imperfect and foolish men. Is that you? It is definitely me. We are in good company. So, rethink those excuses you have been throwing at God.

You may be asking, if a man is self aware and he has a serious understanding of his limitations isn’t that called humility? The answer to that is yes; a humble man is acutely aware of his weaknesses but he still trusts God and His resources. The humble man knows all of His failures but still says “YES” to the call of God. If God is calling you and opening a door for you, be assured that He will enable you as you trust in Him.

God is a master at dealing with our excuses. He has heard them all. The Lord wants us to know the difference between humbly understanding our limitations and making excuses for them. He wants us to know that even though we lack the skill, He has supernatural ability. He wants us to know that even though we are weak, He is omnipotent. The Lord is actually looking for men to acknowledge their weakness and still move forward into the call that He has on their lives. So, when a friend gives you an excuse as to why He cannot minister to other needy men don’t pat him on the back and help him wallow in his pity. No, encourage him to trust in the almighty power of God.

And He (the Lord) said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong”. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10